but the question is what will happen ? will he get hooked on me like my ex Phill became, or will I end up getting ritually sacrificed ? I think by the point that he asks me to meet up with him irl I will probably not be caring either way, because that is how it started when I first went to meet up with with my ex Phill for our first out of the psych hospital date after he was released (as in I knew that going to live with a crazy psych hospital crack addict might put my life in danger but I had fell for him so intensely that I did not care)
I have to look at my past and realize that Michael seems to be breaking down my defenses on a subconscious level the same way that Phill did, and I want to be all positive and optimistic that I am going to make it out of my addiction to crazy f***boi men but am I really going to ? Idk............
would I meet up with Michael Irl rn ? no not genuinely because my short suicidal phases pass quickly but in the future maybe all of my subconscious arguments against meeting up with Michael irl will be broken down like they were with Phill
