but like how am I even going to get to this point because it seems like I can defile a whole church just by stepping into one
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I have so many questions and accusations tossing around in my thoughts that if I voiced them it would cause so much chaos, so instead I am just in internal chaos but it is still chaos just like muted chaos but that certainly is not good for me either to feel like I cannot even express myself and it is better to just figure things out on my own if I freak everyone out with my powerfully half evil and very confused presence
so if people want me to leave SC they should help me come up with a gane plan for how to fit in to church better which would require them to genuinely understand how to become a transformed Christian better than myself, which no one here or anywhere else seems to have the answers on how I can be more of a "normal" Christian without all of these intrusive thoughts and desires and all of this obsessive compulsive stuff and mental disorder stuff
Actually it is probably just the demons convincing me that I am too defiled to be part of churches and stuff gosh I really need to get them out of my head I think that they mimic my voice and confuse me and make me think that they are my thoughts or something
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