twitching and spasming sometimes too and my thoughts and heart start racing so many questions I think it is me "coming alive" and some of the dark stuff getting cast out It is just a really overwhelming and intimidating experience for me ik it is not an excuse but like I do not necessarily feel calm and peaceful when I read it
sometimes I do when I read some of the encouraging stuff but a lot of times the content brings up tons of questions that I have to ask God about and get clarification about everything because any "contradictions" I have to make him explain how they are not contradictions because my mind has problems with contradictions and does not like them and does not like cognitive dissonance so like it is not just an easy lalala read for me like it is Intensive
I am feeling more calm and less intimidated by thinking about reading the holy scriptures today so this is a good thing I will probably read them more this later afternoon and evening because my anxiety tends to be a little less in the evenings anyway
It is probably because I used to be in alliance with them, that is the conclusion that I came to all of this stuff from my past before I was incarnated must still have a subconscious influence somewhat that is not all of the way sanctified out of me yet
^ when you look at things from this perspective It does seem to explain a lot of what I am dealing with in my life and in my personal conversion to Christianity
