personally I haven't wanted children for a long time, and it is always because I knew that I would be an unfit mother until I went through some serious trauma counseling and healing which is what I am going through presently
like part of me wants to be a mother, and the other part of me knows that I am way too sick in the head to properly raise children so far I hope that this changes eventually and hopefully soon as I am putting in the work in therapy and so on
I kinda figured once you started calling yourself 'The Divine Mother'. 😜
while I know that it is Jesus's calling for me, truthfully I would selfishly prefer being "Jesus's special favorite female counterpart and I can have sex with any of the adult human beings that I want and show off how amazing I am :p" so yeah, and that is pretty horrible which is why I am kind of quarantining myself from the Church until some of this mentality is replaced by healthier beliefs and desires............
Ok see this Lena? She is fucking crazy. Stop trying to reason with crazy girl, you gonna get tired AF it's a pointless endeavor