Why would you be ashamed of that?
You and other people say things like he is boring and stuff but he is peaceful and loving and calm and joyful and those are not bad qualities in a God but apparently some people think that they are
Why would us not having reason to be cool with Jesus make you feel shame?
By contrast I didn't feel shame when my immediate company were all Jesus-y, it was just spooky.It makes me feel like people think that I am stupid to be honest but I have seen too much and know too much to be able to see believing in Jesus as Savior and as God as stupid anymore
In your defense and in the defense of others in the same position; The Bible's got a lot of shit in there, some of it even seemingly contradicting itself if not given room to multiple interpretations.
The faith has so many denominations that it makes people in my position have an easy time asking questions over how most Christians don't carry identical beliefs in spite of carrying the same source for their material, and in time it's led to other Christians being at odds with each other for 'getting it wrong'.
In less words, it's easy to get it wrong, so being corrected over scripture if not given room to debate it is how to handle it.