I've spent a majority of my life as an extremely fucked in the head young girl, until about 4 years ago
Guess I've no room to talk
Well that was a fucking ride while it lasted
That stays with us forever, that memory of unidentifiable pain does, when we as humans are fucked in the head at times in that case we are something more vulnerable, and what's more vulnerable than a young girl?
God really has a sense of humor
Again, that's what I was, and so shit was a wild ride
It's ok the older I get the more I forget
The more I forget the happier I can
Things can only get better
All I need to do now is get better, numb myself
As an adult I can certainly cope in adult ways, so it's better as well
Like I need some fucking pain pills and a beer, lmfao
Maybe I can drawl out of the hell that is an illusion created by the memories of a confusing and tortured childhood
And move on
But I will say this, I was so confused, the entire time I was so confused
It went on so long my brain just refuses to let it be over
And so I'm stuck in an eternal time loop
And I'm still confused
Is this the choice I I made to be this way or did something else make it.for.me? Did I ever have a choice?
Why do I have to live with the consequences of a broken mind because of someone else's actions?
I can't explain it but my feelings are a chorus of confusing muffled deformed screaming where the feelings should be and I just want it to stop
My brain has also been physically damaged and I don't know what's the damage and what's the response to being at war with everything for so long
I'm so tired please fucking help me the people around me just pull me more into the fucking water and I'm drowning while I'm struggling to swim
I can't be saved, even though what's been damaged was only my brain I feel I lost a part of my soul and a chunk of my sanity
If it's partially physical then where is my fucking soul?
Can't the people around me understand blatant cries for help?
Lmfao
