I am probably a very self-destructive person. Since, my mind tells me to get LSD, and just do it in my room, and watch and listen to creations of art like music, and these edits.
I am just kind of giggling at myself over the thought, I know the dangers of it, I'm aware. I just find myself not caring. If I find a place to take it, and a friend with me I might but I doubt a friend would want to do that, shit would be boring asf for them. It's why I'd do it in my room, and talk to my online friends as I come across as entirely retarded.
I'll try to plan it carefully. I don't believe it'll try me to suicide, even if I get suicidal and plagued with homicidal thoughts. I doubt it'll escalate that far. I just want to experience the visuals and feelings.
Really, I'd love to listen to beautiful music and watch art to feel more connected to such things.
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Do it! You won’t regret it. Good acid is hard to find, or maybe real acid is hard to find. Not sure which, but either way, if you get good stuff, it will be amazing! You won’t feel like killing people, it’s more of a happy trippy high. Colors are brighter, voices are distorted, and songs sound even better. Do it!
Luckily, it seems he will accept cash. So, that whole aspect of fearing the loss of my virginity is safe. I can continue to be a virgin and save myself for someone special.
Awww that is super adorable. You are safe from prostitution for another day. I’m glad he will accept cash. Protect your virginity with your life. You can never get it back and your first time will haunt you forever if it’s not exactly how you want it to be, or if it’s forced.
what was your dx when you went to the ward?
They really didn't bother to diagnose me or anything, they never actually tried to help, they just asked how I was doing every day I was there, then recommended after to go to a therapist. It was a complete waste of money, but I guess the experience was enjoyable only because of I was out of it in my head, and I was away from my family. I definitely wouldn't do it again though.
I'm of the opinion that when I do trip, it will be an interesting experience and potential lesson, to what extent I don't know. I don't know about the whole complete philosophical revelation. I'll have to see. If it goes bad so be it. I personally think it'll be a rollercoaster of emotions potentially, and parts of it might make me suffer, but I'd like to think that regardless it will be a fruitful experience, and I'll try to share my experience whenever I obtain it.
There is just something beautiful about these videos, even if they are shitposts of retarded memory and jokes, I would love to one day be able to make these "schizo" edits just for fun and to express whatever zany desires and dreams I have in my head, but I'd love to experience them on LSD, just to see how trippy it might be.
last edit on
1/3/2022 5:57:43 AM
what was your dx when you went to the ward?
They really didn't bother to diagnose me or anything, they never actually tried to help, they just asked how I was doing every day I was there, then recommended after to go to a therapist. It was a complete waste of money, but I guess the experience was enjoyable only because of I was out of it in my head, and I was away from my family. I definitely wouldn't do it again though.
what kind of a ward doesn't try to figure out what's going on with you before letting you back out? lol
"aite bro, looks like you're done freaking out, good luck"
what was your dx when you went to the ward?
They really didn't bother to diagnose me or anything, they never actually tried to help, they just asked how I was doing every day I was there, then recommended after to go to a therapist. It was a complete waste of money, but I guess the experience was enjoyable only because of I was out of it in my head, and I was away from my family. I definitely wouldn't do it again though.
what kind of a ward doesn't try to figure out what's going on with you before letting you back out? lol
"aite bro, looks like you're done freaking out, good luck"
A shitty one, I suppose. It actually was quite annoying that they didn't really try. It makes me have a lack of faith in getting help and whether or not pricks in this area just want my money, since my first therapist I got after, I feel like he cheated me. However, I am going to try to get a therapist this year, regardless of it being in this area or not.
They asked me some questions regarding me and my family, and how I was doing but that was it.
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