So, to be honest I usually don't notice when I am being awkward irl unless someone points it out to me.
When someone does it does make me feel bad I guess, nervous maybe but I'm unsure
Today I almost got hit by a car because the cars were so loud that I had difficulty crossing the street, and this scared me to the point that I peed myself
And even though I was wearing adult diapers they don't work worth a shot they leak half the time
I have bad bladder control as it is unrelated to autism, however if I get scared and irl noises startle me easily I do tend to pee...
I just feel like nothing I try works completely, noise cancelling headphones don't block sound, earbuds block sound kind of but not really, although if I jam them way in my ears and wear noise cancelling headphones and secure it with a scarf this works well but also causes damage to my ears, I only do it during emergencies like fourth of july
I went to the university and I found they have a library I think I'm going to sneak in later.
I have a difficult time knowing what my emotions are
I get told I don't seem like I have autism over uninformed reasons like that I make a lot of eye contact (actually I have been told I made to much) even though excessive eye contact is ironically common in autistic females
I just wish I could be called anything other than autistic so that I wouldn't be stereotyped this much or asked to fit in a box seen on the media that is a fictional box that most autistic people, especially females don't fit.
Like maybe if I said I had borderline or something I could get some understanding and people would be like "ohhhhhhhhhh ok I get you, it's cool"
Instead of being like "aren't you supposed to b like the big bang theory?"
Fuck you I existed before that show did, I was one of the first wave of autistic women to be diagnosed and recognized far before your inaccurate insult of a fucking show, have some respect.
Anyway, still trying to navigate the world despite a few minor issues
