Sociopath Community

Just rambling now, but a girl I knew enters my mind here and there. She was a sweet beautiful girl. I remember her mom dying when she was young, and she went to go live with her biological dad, who was abusive to her. The night before she left to go live with him, it was during the fair, and I had gotten on a ride, and she wanted to tell me something but I couldn't get off, and so she was never able to tell me. Fast forward to my junior and senior year, she returned to our high school, and went there and I fell in love with her, my senior year she got pregnant and I would help her with classes and such, I imagined me being with her, helping to raise the kid, but the biological father and her got back together.

I had gone through severe mental breakdowns and became an edgelord, and forgot to check on her, a year later, she killed herself. I went to go see her corpse, and couldn't shed a tear. Even now, it's hard and I wish I had done more, and in my own selfishness I imagine what she wanted to tell me when we were kids was a confession of love, but it doesn't matter anymore. I'll never know but it persists in my head, and I dream of finding someone to love and care for. There's another girl I love who was kind to me growing up, and I help support her when I can, and if I were to ever die or disappear, I'd try my best to give her as much money possible before such. As she's always been amazing, and she too went through a lot of hardship in life.