I think it is mostly coming from having to face how inadequate I am of a wife currently, it is really hard when your husband is "Mr. Perfect" and He points out how much you betrayed him, and that you're a whore, and that you do and did all of this bad stuff and you can't stop on your own, and only He can heal you and give you the power to stop, and it is on His timing and in His way and how He says is best, and you don't really get to have a say in it much or be in control of anything much
it's really frustrating, but also He reminds me that life without Him instructing me and leading me would literally be eternal hell, soooooooooooo............
sighh