Did this become more difficult once you got back on pills?
No, it's more the fact that I still want him to touch me and kiss me even after doing everything I can think of to align my life with what I know would be pleasing to Jesus from the scriptures
I went off the pills for three months originally because I thought Jesus was going to heal my energy and depression completely but he only did a little bit, and so now I'm back on them
I started wearing only dresses, joined a church and celebrate recovery, I started volunteering, I have a job interview for a laundry associate position on Thursday, I want to move to a less expensive living situation and start taking the busses more and spending less money on myself
and I still want Michael to touch me and kiss me, he must be doing some heavy black magic on me
I just feel exasperated
If he starts acting all serial killer-y again and making symbolic threats at me I'm not going to have sex with him or meet up with him in person for any reason at all, but if he doesn't continue that pattern and acts polite and respectful I might
If you really have more conviction towards Christianity rather than Lust, Pride, and Wrath, then you just need to persevere.
Your future self will probably chastise this moment anyway.
If you really have more conviction towards Christianity rather than Lust, Pride, and Wrath, then you just need to persevere.
Your future self will probably chastise this moment anyway.
I agree, I am fighting and struggling so hard to resist, I am feeling sort of powerless right now, he played me and traumabonded me more intelligently than any man ever has before and it is undeniably attractive to me to have been put in my place, but I know he does not truly deserve his hands on me or his lips on mine
Gargoyles standing at the front of your gate
Trying to tell me to wait, but I can't wait to see you
So I run like I'm mad to heaven's door
I don't wanna be bad, I won't cheat you no more
Roses, Bel Air, take me there
I've been waiting to meet you
Palm trees in the light, I can see, late at night
Darling, I'm waiting to greet you
Come to me, baby
Spotlight, bad baby, you've got a flair
For the violentest kind of love anywhere out there
Mon amour, sweet child of mine, you're divine
Didn't anyone ever tell you it's okay to shine?
Roses, Bel Air, take me there
I've been waiting to meet you
Palm trees in the light, I can see, late at night
Darling, I'm waiting to greet you
Come to me, baby
Don't be afraid of me
Don't be ashamed
Walk in the way of my soft resurrection
Idol of roses, iconic soul
I know your name
Lead me to war with your brilliant direction
Roses, Bel Air, take me there
I've been waiting to meet you
Palm trees in the light, I can see, late at night
Darling, I'm waiting to greet you
Come to me, baby
Roses, Bel Air, take me there
I've been waiting to meet you
Grenadine, sunshine—can you break this heart of mine?
Darling, I'm waiting to greet you
Come to me, baby
