I just used to like blaming him for my pride and evilness and bad decisions lol, but that is a sin and a useless one since I am starting to take on more and more responsibility for my thoughts and actions
I think what happened was that God simply cursed me similarly to Satan when I left Him as a punishment, and that is why I sometimes feel controlled by Satan in this lifetime but it is only a similar curse as Satan has, which I am becoming more and more free from thanks to Jesus and the holy spirit
this lifetime was God's second chance for me, I guess because of leaving him it was impossible for me to return after I was cursed, except in this lifetime it became possible because He had me born into a christian family with the possibility of accepting Jesus as my Savior, which I did when I was younger and the Holy spirit has been working in my life ever since, he just has had a looooooot of pride to tackle though lol. He has given me no memories of my previous lifetime but I know I am the divine Mother and I know my name is Lilith, I do not remember my name when I was with God in the beginning, but it was changed to Lilith when I left God after being cursed- this I intuitively know
