To give credit where credit is due , and keep it real with no fronting/acting
I got many haters irl and online, and by haters I mean people who would even kill me if they could. Literally.
You asked me about the situation I described earlier, I attacked some famous thug (headbutted him) and he started running and came back with his friends and a big rock aiming at me, meanwhile the others were reaching to grab some wood sticks or whatever, one of them told me "i got a knife" so I told them to fight me 2 vs 1 any time any place, mano to mano hands no weapons.
They just left, they didn't take up the challenge. And I kept calling them chickens. But I am sure this will escalate cause I will attack them again, because that's just me. And it might lead to getting stabbed.
I also got people in my neighborhood who make groups to target me cause I'm an open fascist and greece hates fascists. Leaving notes on me, asking around, I'm villanized and portrayed as a douche.
In internet there has been servers that want my dox and pay for it, my ex e gf's ask me to get banned cause I dropped them, etc etc. I get friend requests of trolls daily who stream their convs with me to prove they can e battle the mighty aizen. I enter places in discord/another two social media, and I get 3 angry narcs coming at my throat on the spot.
Stalkers like boosted following me everywhere.
And there's my job too, I want to be the youngest who got a promotion, and the huge project I been building that already makes money but it can make sooooooooo much more if I focus. I need to speak to a software engineer daily, a frontend developer, and a data analytics expert. With different details, tone, personality, different commands, deals blah blah blah.
My old fascist team is contacting me, referring to me as leader with respect. Yet I am not strong enough to lead them yet, I can't repeat my past mistakes again. There are also fascist greeks irl that ask me "we can do something let's do it" but I am not strong enough to take such action.
All these things happen daily in my life.
Sometimes all this makes me feel empowered and strong and mighty, most of the times. Cause if everyone's out to get you. That proves you are strong and the best.
But some times, given how I start conflicts in every front it becomes "too much" the pressure gets to me, so I come here to pick easy targets like peasant saville / bpd jim/ chapo cause I don't feel pressured by them.
Which mind you, it is a weakness and a dependency on its own. Taking out frustration cause pressure is a weakness, I am fully aware of that.
I guess you could classify that as a "healthy coping mechanism" but that's all.
Now to finish this with no bullshit appeals, some times I think. It would be nice to have someone to share the burden, someone to vent, someone to depend on genuinely or trust but.
I can't cause I know people, and I can analyze them, nobody I met can handle all this pressure or responsibility. And you can't attach to something beneath you- so attachment becomes impossible.
And the worst part is. All these fights I pick are unproductive and just test experiments to prove to myself something. Meanwhile they can clearly damage my aspirations and goals as a man.
And I can't escape that loophole, cause I need to let go of my pride. And I will never do that.
This is the pure truth in this long rant, cause I hate gaslighting even subhumans when they bring fair points. It's pathetic.
Here you go.
