Genuine question. I become deeply depressed almost unable to move if I am not with someone that I feel loved or valued by. I almost envy some of you guys for being able to withstand loneliness and lack of affection from opposite sex for so long. As miserable as it looks it must be equally freeing.
My self-worth was tied a bit to relationships/dating success in my teens and early 20s. It wasn't a healthy thing, and looking back I was really more interested in the idea of a relationship than an actual connection. You know...having the attractive girlfriend who is going to be sweet or funny, someone to share life with. As I got into more relationships, I'd find myself annoyed or frustrated a lot. Essentially I wanted the relationships without the other person being problematic with their feelings—I wanted selective parts of what was there. Realizing that led me to understand that I was being rather silly and needy. I was a lite version of those other clingy people who always needed to be in a relationship (or always sought to be in one) because they needed someone else to define them, and they needed to feel secure and comfortable, and they couldn't stand to be alone. All things I find gross on a visceral level.
Sure, there are nice things that come with love. But I also see relationships as a lot of work I'm not often willing to deal with. I can flirt with the cute girl at the gas station down the street and maybe we can mutually get some dopamine from each other, and if all is well it can be the start of something interesting. But I'm honestly more interested in Linux right now than sinking my time into maintaining a source of affection. But maybe that's autism.
My self-worth was tied a bit to relationships/dating success in my teens and early 20s. It wasn't a healthy thing, and looking back I was really more interested in the idea of a relationship than an actual connection. You know...having the attractive girlfriend who is going to be sweet or funny, someone to share life with. As I got into more relationships, I'd find myself annoyed or frustrated a lot. Essentially I wanted the relationships without the other person being problematic with their feelings—I wanted selective parts of what was there. Realizing that led me to understand that I was being rather silly and needy. I was a lite version of those other clingy people who always needed to be in a relationship (or always sought to be in one) because they needed someone else to define them, and they needed to feel secure and comfortable, and they couldn't stand to be alone. All things I find gross on a visceral level.
Sure, there are nice things that come with love. But I also see relationships as a lot of work I'm not often willing to deal with. I can flirt with the cute girl at the gas station down the street and maybe we can mutually get some dopamine from each other, and if all is well it can be the start of something interesting. But I'm honestly more interested in Linux right now than sinking my time into maintaining a source of affection. But maybe that's autism.
So you see being 'needy' as so unhealthy that you'd rather abstain from it entirely?
So you see being 'needy' as so unhealthy that you'd rather abstain from it entirely?
It's OK and understandable in a solid relationship. I think a lot of people prioritize secure attachments to the extent that they seek whatever loosely fits. The dating pool's like a primordial soup where lots of things are ready to react, waiting for the right catalyst—a matter of activation energy and proximity. I find this need for safety unpalatable. It's something I was unfortunately guilty of as well when my brain was steady rocked with alcohol.
Because most people don't understand that Money should be the core of all things and what we should all seek IN FIRST PLACE, not discarding love and etc, however when you get MONEY, you get everything else and whatever the fuck you want. Money by itself doesn't fill the void, but it attracts everything you want to be fullfilled.
You may be successful but have no money, but if you have money, you can claim to be sucessful, you can claim the best lifestyle, you can claim better looking girls, you can claim the most '' interesting '' life.
Attention from woman is good, but attention from having money is much better because it's more about the power that comes within and the grandiose self-steem load that comes with it than anything else.
Genuine question. I become deeply depressed almost unable to move if I am not with someone that I feel loved or valued by. I almost envy some of you guys for being able to withstand loneliness and lack of affection from opposite sex for so long. As miserable as it looks it must be equally freeing.
I never found it difficult to live without romantic love. The lack of any love (like friendship, family etc) is pretty unliveable though. Probably the reason I freaked out and joined the military. It was a decent substitute for a while, but not an amazing decision in the grand scheme lol
Hey man. U should learn to love urself first. U know what im sayin
Do you love yourself, Xadem? I hear you've been lying to all these people that you're Belgian when in reality you're Russian.... Your secret is safe with me.
