Sociopath Community

No, you stay in my possession. You are helpless and pathetic and you won't ever do shit to me. That's why you write that in an internet forum instead of go do sum'. Don't you think I know that you feel like that? I will continue to hammer your mouth cunt with my questions and rape you that way while I hold eye contact. You are like a pet to me. We laugh about you after sessions. You can't  do shit. See you Monday. 

Two chihuahuas barking at each other, the first writes a poem. The other a copypasta.

Yawn.

__ said: 

I wont be looking at the comments and most of you are blocked.  

I couldn't take the heat I got out of the kitchen 

I don't have to take the heat.

The therapist  asks me a lot of questions.  But I dont understand why he does not understand that when I dont want to talk about  something - I dont want to. I dont get WHY he pushes me to talk about these things. 

I wont do it

I dont care what my file says

I wont. 

I wont talk about it.

I dont have to.

Why should I have to?

If your client is shaking in your office after they kept asking you to stop your doing something wrong.

He just wants to use me he just sees me as a blob to poke at with a stick 

He will be my victim. He is the victim 

Sometimes victim  is a volunteer position and it isn't one I sign up for 

I wont remember 

I dont want to remember 

I dont have to remember 

Let the pearl of forgetfulness envelop the filth 

It only stays if the oyster keeps its jaw closed

At the bottom of the sea

Dont pry my mouth open

Dont take my Pearls away

I know I have so many Pearls but that's just it

Ah they irritate me

Your hands never came out of my mouth 

They never came out

I will forget  in the sea of daily tasks

In my work

In my preparation 

In my studies 

In all I do.

I can never recollect or I will mourn who I was before I did.

I have an aversion to loss

 too long didnt read

Why do you want to forget?  Why do you place certain affect to certain memories?  Maybe it is there you need to embrace the emotion to understand it and maybe know memory and emotion can't hurt you.  It's there you will be able to change.

Judging by the way you've wrapped this up in some form of poetry, I think you are romanticising the situation.  If you want to help yourself, you'll have to get over the honeymoon period here.

Buttered Toast said: 

Why do you want to forget?  Why do you place certain affect to certain memories?  Maybe it is there you need to embrace the emotion to understand it and maybe know memory and emotion can't hurt you.  It's there you will be able to change.

Judging by the way you've wrapped this up in some form of poetry, I think you are romanticising the situation.  If you want to help yourself, you'll have to get over the honeymoon period here.

 Ahhhhhh ok I'll read YOUR comment 

Well I'm not romanticizing it its just for some reason when I write about things this way it makes it possible for me to talk about  it, even if vaguely 

It isn't that this thing makes me happy,  but rather the opposite  

Of course memories can hurt right? Idk maybe you know something I dont.

How do i embrace emotion? I usually struggle  to understand what the emotion is 

Do you think  I'm making it worse by running away?

__ said: 

Buttered Toast said: 

Why do you want to forget?  Why do you place certain affect to certain memories?  Maybe it is there you need to embrace the emotion to understand it and maybe know memory and emotion can't hurt you.  It's there you will be able to change.

Judging by the way you've wrapped this up in some form of poetry, I think you are romanticising the situation.  If you want to help yourself, you'll have to get over the honeymoon period here.

 Ahhhhhh ok I'll read YOUR comment 

Well I'm not romanticizing it its just for some reason when I write about things this way it makes it possible for me to talk about  it, even if vaguely 

It isn't that this thing makes me happy,  but rather the opposite  

Of course memories can hurt right? Idk maybe you know something I dont.

How do i embrace emotion? I usually struggle  to understand what the emotion is 

Do you think  I'm making it worse by running away?

The way we remember things may seem like it hurts us.  You have to find your way back into control, which will involve turning back into it and dealing with it.

Yes; you might be making it worse by running away.

Buttered Toast said: 

__ said: 

Buttered Toast said: 

Why do you want to forget?  Why do you place certain affect to certain memories?  Maybe it is there you need to embrace the emotion to understand it and maybe know memory and emotion can't hurt you.  It's there you will be able to change.

Judging by the way you've wrapped this up in some form of poetry, I think you are romanticising the situation.  If you want to help yourself, you'll have to get over the honeymoon period here.

 Ahhhhhh ok I'll read YOUR comment 

Well I'm not romanticizing it its just for some reason when I write about things this way it makes it possible for me to talk about  it, even if vaguely 

It isn't that this thing makes me happy,  but rather the opposite  

Of course memories can hurt right? Idk maybe you know something I dont.

How do i embrace emotion? I usually struggle  to understand what the emotion is 

Do you think  I'm making it worse by running away?

The way we remember things may seem like it hurts us.  You have to find your way back into control, which will involve turning back into it and dealing with it.

Yes; you might be making it worse by running away.

 Ok. I'll try  

Tbh I have PTSD and other issues the pain is awful when I fucking try to go back to that fucking  shit which is a dumpster fire

But I dont know.  I want to help the people who hurt me. Its ironic.  In order to help them I must help myself,  and in order to do that I fucking need to get over the shit they did to me. 

But it isn't about me, its about the people  around  me, I need to get over my shit and stop sperging like a fucking loser.

I have to try to be something I'm not. Not yet. 

Fuck man I'm not ready to do this shit

Naw I have to. The 25th is soon

I need to get over my bullishit and stop being  a little bitch

I WILL MAKE THE MEMORIES MY BITCH

idk

 Your right tho your just telling me what I need to hear

You may feel the need to beat yourself up over it, in order to compensate for the pain or negative thoughts.  Just know it's you making those feelings and judgments and you can let go of them when you feel you are ready.  Pain often precedes healing.  You just have to let both happen, not obstruct or distort the process.

It's good that you are taking steps toward knowing this for yourself.