To Jimmy, with love.
Jimmy is a person who, above all, reminds us of the fallibility of humans. I see him as the epitome of an anti-hero. An emotion-junkie, lonely surrounded by people he desperately wishes to connect with but is unable to.
When I think of Jimmy, I feel tears well up in my eyes. On the inside, I believe Jimmy wishes to be loved and find love, wishes to be a good person, wishes to connect. His thoughts however are constantly plagued by demons calling him to mischief and earthly pleasures that provide him with an alluring temporary satisfaction and dopamine rush, but ultimately de-sentisize him to the point he can not find pleasure in the everyday, in flowers, in butterflies, in the clouds in the sky, in the lips of a beautiful woman, in the fuzz and buzz of the everyday life. As a consequence, he constantly shames himself publicly and tries to find new emotional highs, testing the limits of his shamelessness and monstrosity as he sees himself, spiraling downwards into an unknown destination that he both hates and loves.
Then comes the realization that he's used years of his time to build himself into a monster, one which he simultaneously prides himself of being and hates for causing him to be lonely. He knows he can not find true love anymore, not after being in the pits of hell, not after raping and pillaging, not after causing so much misery.
Will Jimmy spiral into mayhem, or be resurrected as a beautiful flower? Will he whither away quietly, or will he go out with a bang? Will he find meaning in his life, or forever remain in a crazed nihilistic state? Where will Jimmy be in 10 years -- in the senate, attending a family dinner, or in jail?
For Tryptamine, I know where he will be in 10 years. Jimmy, I don't know. It's exciting, isn't it?
