College:
The most interesting part of the "Three Essays On The Theory of Sexuality" reading was when he talked about perversions. I never really thought about perversions or really anything about sexuality before so when I read it it was amazing because he basically convinced me that perversions should not be considered perversions unless the perversion is the sexual aim of the person.
Now:
This was before the rape memories escaped their cage, and before I ever touched myself. This was the class where someone told me about it and to do it.
College:
Also, I thought it was weird how he explained adults being sexually attracted to children because he, to me, was giving an excuse that I didn't really accept. He said that they go for children because they can't get a normal sexual object and because of the femininity of boys compared to men. He also said something about instinct when he talked about the sexual object being an animal.
He said that when you have an impulse and no one is around but an animal or a boy, in the case of men with children, they basically use what they have there and he says that's not a psychological thing or something like that even though not being able to control your impulses sounds to me like a disorder of some sort.
I also thought it was interesting when he talked about where babies come from. It was strange to me that people would settle on saying a baby comes from eating something particular and then it comes out "like a discharge of faeces", instead of telling the truth to their children. I think it sounds like they’re saying, “we could have flushed you down the toilet but we kept you instead.” It kind of made me laugh when I read it so I had to bring it up.
Another thing that interested me was the part about sexual tension. Mainly where he ended it by saying "The problem is how it can come about that an experience of pleasure can give rise to a need for greater pleasure." (Freud 281). This was very intriguing to me. I never thought of it in that way and it looks like pleasure is addicting but earlier he said that when you finish the sexual act you feel fulfilled, so I was wondering what happens if you are not fulfilled by the sexual act.
Now:
This is totally how I am when I touch myself. I never get enough. I always want more. It’s pretty crazy, but back then, I was very unfamiliar with any kind of pleasure, but especially sexual pleasure because sex just reminded me of my rape, so it just never felt right and still doesn’t feel right most of the time.
College:
I also was interested in the part that, to me explained why women have mother-in-laws that hate them. I think it was toward the end but when I read it I finally realized what was behind the dreaded mother-in-law. It also did not contradict any of my prior beliefs about attraction, which is good. As a whole the reading was very interesting and it helped me understand a variety of things that I had questions about so I am very glad that I read it.