Sociopath Community

I get over anybody by never really bonding in the first place.  I don't think I can offer you more than the usual platitudes I hear other people might use.  At some fundamental level in yourself, consider the fact no one else is essentially important either, at least not with the expectation they "complete you" or offer you anything that you can't do for yourself.  Cease to let historical human behavior and nature surprise you.

When I lose someone I’m completely sick of them. 

Buttered Toast said: 

I get over anybody by never really bonding in the first place. 

 its sad but i tend to do this too 

This is not financial advice said:

Step 1
immediately start dating someone else I mean like the very first person that reminds you of them.

Get deep way too fast get real fucking intense, to the point where they're just starting to go along with it because this is really fucking weird but they like it? or maybe they just think you're an easy lay; doesn't matter, they're going to go with it.

start projecting shit from your past relationship you know that guy that you can't get over? The reason that you're in this current really fast relationship? Yes start projecting all of the shit that you went through with him on this new person.

Start fights and get frustrated because they aren't following the script of your old lover, get drunk, get sober, pretend like it's a new day and start over, get disappointed with your current dude when he doesn't do something your ex would have done in whatever situation or argument you've just initiated.

Watch your new partner be miserable around you, start noticing things with this person like the way he leans his forehead on the dirty window of your 2nd floor apartment which is kinda annoying because you plants are there but sweet because he's watering them for you, even sticks his finger in the dirt to see if they're dry enough.

Your ex didn't do that.

Notice that his temper isn't explosive like your ex so that there isn't screaming matches at 7 pm over the most trivial shit, instead he tries to reason with you and when he can't he just leaves.

Realize that it's not for a lack of passion that he does this but rather because you're fucked up and come to associate passion and interest with explosive energy, insults and twitchy hands and this is actually good..? Yeah this is healthy.

He's still miserable though and you don't blame him for it but maybe you can make up for it i guess, except he's tired of this and after the last argument he leaves and he's gone for days which feels like ages. He doesn't come back he just texts you and tells you he's done. it's not a healthy and you're a bit high strung and your words hurt and it's a long time on the phone and phones sorta suck you know?

You argue that he's shit for doing this over the phone instead of in person, that words through the screen of a cellphone don't convey how sorry you are and yeah maybe you're a bit over the top but insert a self deprecating comment that he does not negate this time, likely because he knows this is the first wheel of a brand new argument and a return to "normal".

He tells you he'll pick up his stuff while you're at work. He doesn't respond to any of your other texts.

He leaves you a watering can from ikea but he took one of golden pothos. Fuck.

Step 2
Repeat step one.

Chapo said: 

When I lose someone I’m completely sick of them. 

 I wish I was like that.

Khepri said: 

This is not financial advice said:

Step 1
immediately start dating someone else I mean like the very first person that reminds you of them.

Get deep way too fast get real fucking intense, to the point where they're just starting to go along with it because this is really fucking weird but they like it? or maybe they just think you're an easy lay; doesn't matter, they're going to go with it.

start projecting shit from your past relationship you know that guy that you can't get over? The reason that you're in this current really fast relationship? Yes start projecting all of the shit that you went through with him on this new person.

Start fights and get frustrated because they aren't following the script of your old lover, get drunk, get sober, pretend like it's a new day and start over, get disappointed with your current dude when he doesn't do something your ex would have done in whatever situation or argument you've just initiated.

Watch your new partner be miserable around you, start noticing things with this person like the way he leans his forehead on the dirty window of your 2nd floor apartment which is kinda annoying because you plants are there but sweet because he's watering them for you, even sticks his finger in the dirt to see if they're dry enough.

Your ex didn't do that.

Notice that his temper isn't explosive like your ex so that there isn't screaming matches at 7 pm over the most trivial shit, instead he tries to reason with you and when he can't he just leaves.

Realize that it's not for a lack of passion that he does this but rather because you're fucked up and come to associate passion and interest with explosive energy, insults and twitchy hands and this is actually good..? Yeah this is healthy.

He's still miserable though and you don't blame him for it but maybe you can make up for it i guess, except he's tired of this and after the last argument he leaves and he's gone for days which feels like ages. He doesn't come back he just texts you and tells you he's done. it's not a healthy and you're a bit high strung and your words hurt and it's a long time on the phone and phones sorta suck you know?

You argue that he's shit for doing this over the phone instead of in person, that words through the screen of a cellphone don't convey how sorry you are and yeah maybe you're a bit over the top but insert a self deprecating comment that he does not negate this time, likely because he knows this is the first wheel of a brand new argument and a return to "normal".

He tells you he'll pick up his stuff while you're at work. He doesn't respond to any of your other texts.

He leaves you a watering can from ikea but he took one of golden pothos. Fuck.

Step 2
Repeat step one.

 Funny, but too long. I quit like a quarter of the way through. Pretty good for me, but couldn’t get there, sorry. 

okay so they were special, you cared/care about them, they impacted your life in some way and the vast majority of people will never do that so in that sense they will always be special to you. So don't worry about having to let go completely or anything, and I think pretending like they weren't special is detrimental to the process of acceptance and is kind of like lying to yourself.

I still care about people I cared about as a child and haven't seen in over a decade. That doesn't mean you have to pine for them though, accept that just because someone is special doesn't mean they have to be an ongoing part of your life. 

Life is a big adventure with many parts, when it's time for another part don't ruin it by trying to replay an old one in your mind. Who knows a new chapter might be your favourite in time

NotImportant said: 

I usually just move on to the next person, but that’s not working. I need answers ASAP. I’m asking specifically about the feeling in your heart that makes you long for the person. I need to kill that. My brain is already moved on, but my retarded heart man. Just give me whatever options you have please? Thanks 🙏🏽 

find a chair to stand on

You could just let yourself feel it.