Sociopath Community

The Human Centipede (2009) - 1 star

A very blatant attempt at shock value; one already knows what they are getting into before they watch it. So one would expect delivery on that. Instead, the beginning is a very long and drawn out sequence of two airhead girls lacking in awareness, common sense, or basic life skills. The scenes seemed intended to make you feel empathy for them, but by the time they were captured I just wanted them to be sewn up already. Get the show on the road.

At this point I was expecting to see some surgery—which actually would have made my skin crawl a bit—but no, that part was skipped. Instead what comes next is some guy doing low-tier sadism to them. The most disturbing part is supposed to be how the fecal tract runs, which I guess is shocking for anyone who has never watched gore.

In the end there is a completely unrealistic series of events involving a police investigation. And then finally in the end, everyone dies. That was the only good thing about the movie, aside from getting to see some boobs.

I Care a Lot - 4 stars

I don't care a lot:

For a movie titled I Care a Lot, I found myself in want of anything or anyone to care about while watching. It was extremely unclear which characters you're supposed to identify with and root for, if any. While the cinematography and colour design were entirely paletable, the acting was lackluster and the writing worse, these mobsters definitely fell short of expectations.

It seemed like the director meant for the audience to revere the main characters as hyper competent masterminds, like two Goliath's clashing, two sharks held in a stalemate through sheer ingenuity. All I could think of was how tiny the paddling pool these sharks inhabited was "baby shark do do do do do do"

I Care a Lot is a kaleidoscope of misunderstandings around criminality, human behaviour, threat sensitivity and drug pharmacokinetics. It over values the financial gain from fleecing the elderly, especially relative to almost any other large scale criminal endeavour.

The take away from this movie is that blind luck, a lack of morals, thinly veiled lizard expressions, gumption, and an apparently justified belief that the big bad guy won't immediately kill you for fucking with his operation, is all you need for success.

Freddie got fingered: 5/5 stars

A touching story about a boy who wants to become an artist but whose father doesn't believe in him and favors his brother, Freddie. I cried tears of sorrow when Tom Green jerked off a horse and said "look at me daddy." Same with the sausage scene.

10/10 recommend.

Pinocchio said: 

Freddie got fingered: 5/5 stars

A touching story about a boy who wants to become an artist but whose father doesn't believe in him and favors his brother, Freddie. I cried tears of sorrow when Tom Green jerked off a horse and said "look at me daddy." Same with the sausage scene.

10/10 recommend.

 the stars go up to 10 smh

Why do they go up to 10?

Pinocchio said: 

Why do they go up to 10?

 because 10 is better than 5, my 4 start review doesn't make sense if it's out of 5