Sociopath Community

chai said: 

I'm properly single for the first time in my adult life and it has been fantastic for my mental health but I'm still finding it really difficult to reflect and put my thoughts in order. I kind of want to tie neat bows around my thoughts but I'm not sure I have the insight and selfawareness to do so honestly.

 

For me it's really difficult to recognise emotional responses and alanyse patterns especially while I'm in the middle of a situation, and I never really gave myself the space and time to process and address certain circumstances and events.

I used to struggle with obsessive thoughts and behaviours, I was fixated on the past. Now it feels like I've gone the complete opposite way and am disconnected from my past self to such a degree that I can't properly analyse my behaviour. They say learn from the past but I'm not sure if I have just already learned and adapted and put the past to bed without really consciously thinking about it or if there's something else happening and it would be healthy to reopen that can of worms. 

I mean I am different than I was, quite a lot has changed for me even just recently but I seem to exist for the most part in a perpetual state of now. I'm aware I'm different but I can't point out the structure of exactly how or why.

Is there much merrit in this way of thinking? I don't know. I am content, healthier and more independent than I have ever been. I guess I just want to be able to analyse things so I'm not afraid of ever falling back into the way I used to be.

 

 Dude, how did you become this way? Was it being with someone for so long? How you used to be, is how I am more, so I need to know how you changed. I like to talk about my thoughts in chat when there aren’t many people here. It helps organize them and sometimes people help. I’d say try that or try and make a timeline of what you remember about your past, in chat so it’s easily digestible, and things will pop into into your head. Then tell me what to do to change like you have. Thanks. 

NotImportant said: 

chai said: 

I'm properly single for the first time in my adult life and it has been fantastic for my mental health but I'm still finding it really difficult to reflect and put my thoughts in order. I kind of want to tie neat bows around my thoughts but I'm not sure I have the insight and selfawareness to do so honestly.

 

For me it's really difficult to recognise emotional responses and alanyse patterns especially while I'm in the middle of a situation, and I never really gave myself the space and time to process and address certain circumstances and events.

I used to struggle with obsessive thoughts and behaviours, I was fixated on the past. Now it feels like I've gone the complete opposite way and am disconnected from my past self to such a degree that I can't properly analyse my behaviour. They say learn from the past but I'm not sure if I have just already learned and adapted and put the past to bed without really consciously thinking about it or if there's something else happening and it would be healthy to reopen that can of worms. 

I mean I am different than I was, quite a lot has changed for me even just recently but I seem to exist for the most part in a perpetual state of now. I'm aware I'm different but I can't point out the structure of exactly how or why.

Is there much merrit in this way of thinking? I don't know. I am content, healthier and more independent than I have ever been. I guess I just want to be able to analyse things so I'm not afraid of ever falling back into the way I used to be.

 

 Dude, how did you become this way? Was it being with someone for so long? How you used to be, is how I am more, so I need to know how you changed. I like to talk about my thoughts in chat when there aren’t many people here. It helps organize them and sometimes people help. I’d say try that or try and make a timeline of what you remember about your past, in chat so it’s easily digestible, and things will pop into into your head. Then tell me what to do to change like you have. Thanks. 

I don't love talking about myself in specific details with strangers, and even if I were able to articulate exactly why/how things changed for me it wouldn't necessarily help you, we aren't the same people. what are you having issues with? obsessive thoughts and behaviours?

chai said: 

NotImportant said: 

chai said: 

I'm properly single for the first time in my adult life and it has been fantastic for my mental health but I'm still finding it really difficult to reflect and put my thoughts in order. I kind of want to tie neat bows around my thoughts but I'm not sure I have the insight and selfawareness to do so honestly.

 

For me it's really difficult to recognise emotional responses and alanyse patterns especially while I'm in the middle of a situation, and I never really gave myself the space and time to process and address certain circumstances and events.

I used to struggle with obsessive thoughts and behaviours, I was fixated on the past. Now it feels like I've gone the complete opposite way and am disconnected from my past self to such a degree that I can't properly analyse my behaviour. They say learn from the past but I'm not sure if I have just already learned and adapted and put the past to bed without really consciously thinking about it or if there's something else happening and it would be healthy to reopen that can of worms. 

I mean I am different than I was, quite a lot has changed for me even just recently but I seem to exist for the most part in a perpetual state of now. I'm aware I'm different but I can't point out the structure of exactly how or why.

Is there much merrit in this way of thinking? I don't know. I am content, healthier and more independent than I have ever been. I guess I just want to be able to analyse things so I'm not afraid of ever falling back into the way I used to be.

 

 Dude, how did you become this way? Was it being with someone for so long? How you used to be, is how I am more, so I need to know how you changed. I like to talk about my thoughts in chat when there aren’t many people here. It helps organize them and sometimes people help. I’d say try that or try and make a timeline of what you remember about your past, in chat so it’s easily digestible, and things will pop into into your head. Then tell me what to do to change like you have. Thanks. 

I don't love talking about myself in specific details with strangers, and even if I were able to articulate exactly why/how things changed for me it wouldn't necessarily help you, we aren't the same people. what are you having issues with? obsessive thoughts and behaviours?

 I analyze stuff to see why people do what they do so I can apply it to my life. Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. This is how I learn. Yeah, that’s what i said. I am having those issues. I rather just hear about how you fixed your issues than have you try and help me. I’m too complicated for you to even understand, so trust me when I say, just give me a summary of what happened and I can use it to figure my issues out. 

NotImportant said: 

chai said: 

NotImportant said: 

chai said: 

I'm properly single for the first time in my adult life and it has been fantastic for my mental health but I'm still finding it really difficult to reflect and put my thoughts in order. I kind of want to tie neat bows around my thoughts but I'm not sure I have the insight and selfawareness to do so honestly.

 

For me it's really difficult to recognise emotional responses and alanyse patterns especially while I'm in the middle of a situation, and I never really gave myself the space and time to process and address certain circumstances and events.

I used to struggle with obsessive thoughts and behaviours, I was fixated on the past. Now it feels like I've gone the complete opposite way and am disconnected from my past self to such a degree that I can't properly analyse my behaviour. They say learn from the past but I'm not sure if I have just already learned and adapted and put the past to bed without really consciously thinking about it or if there's something else happening and it would be healthy to reopen that can of worms. 

I mean I am different than I was, quite a lot has changed for me even just recently but I seem to exist for the most part in a perpetual state of now. I'm aware I'm different but I can't point out the structure of exactly how or why.

Is there much merrit in this way of thinking? I don't know. I am content, healthier and more independent than I have ever been. I guess I just want to be able to analyse things so I'm not afraid of ever falling back into the way I used to be.

 

 Dude, how did you become this way? Was it being with someone for so long? How you used to be, is how I am more, so I need to know how you changed. I like to talk about my thoughts in chat when there aren’t many people here. It helps organize them and sometimes people help. I’d say try that or try and make a timeline of what you remember about your past, in chat so it’s easily digestible, and things will pop into into your head. Then tell me what to do to change like you have. Thanks. 

I don't love talking about myself in specific details with strangers, and even if I were able to articulate exactly why/how things changed for me it wouldn't necessarily help you, we aren't the same people. what are you having issues with? obsessive thoughts and behaviours?

 I analyze stuff to see why people do what they do so I can apply it to my life. Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. This is how I learn. Yeah, that’s what i said. I am having those issues. I rather just hear about how you fixed your issues than have you try and help me. I’m too complicated for you to even understand, so trust me when I say, just give me a summary of what happened and I can use it to figure my issues out. 

 alright even though I don't like talking about myself in specifics like I said, I guess can make an exception in telling you if it helps you figure out your own issues. I mean you're probably right, if I can't even understand what happened to me then you're going to be too complicated for me to understand too. 

So it was the beginning of summer and my boyfriend, our group of friend and I decided to hike part of the appalachian trail. We drove up into the mountains and stayed in a little town in an air bnb before we set off for a week round trip on the trail. That night we went to the local bar and we had a run in with some of the rednecks, they were all like "millennials are ruining the country" and we were all like "ok boomer" and they were giving rodney and marco dirty looks like they'd never seen a gay couple before??? that night we heard to local inbreds like being trump loving idiots outside on the street and I couldn't hear what they were saying but there was the sound of smashing glass. carson was like "it's too dangerous to go out there let's just wait until they leave" and the noise did stop eventually. anyway the next day we found smashed beer bottles near our car and someone had spraypainted red marks on it like they were trying to write something but they were too drunk so it just looked like weird satanic runes. like we didn't want to ruin our trip and paint is easy to deal with so we set out anyway and my boyfriend had talked that stretch of the trail before and he had this cool waterfall he wanted to show us so we left the track even though we've all seen horror movies and rodney was like "yeah I'm black I'm definitely going to die first" and lo and behold we actually got lost. that's when the worst thing happened. out of no where a log started rolling down the hill really fast, a tree must have fallen or something but I didn't see or hear anything like that. it was like one minute there was no log, then the next minute it was hurtling towards us, and rodney had cerebral palsy and he didn't get out of the way in time. We found our way back to town and some of the locals went out to get rodney's body but they couldn't find it anywhere. Ever since then I've felt like a totally different person and I can't figure out why. 

hope that helps <3 

(I love seeing this wholesome content.  Unprecedented in my experience of this forum, afaicr.)

Buttered Toast said: 

(I love seeing this wholesome content.  Unprecedented in my experience of this forum, afaicr.)

 ...wait but...

the original post or my response to notimportant?

chai said:

Actually alone, reflection is difficult

Just use a mirror bruh. 

NotImportant said: 

 

Dude, how did you become this way? Was it being with someone for so long? How you used to be, is how I am more, so I need to know how you changed. I like to talk about my thoughts in chat when there aren’t many people here. It helps organize them and sometimes people help. I’d say try that or try and make a timeline of what you remember about your past, in chat so it’s easily digestible, and things will pop into into your head. Then tell me what to do to change like you have. Thanks. 

Are you just regurgitating your therapy right now? 

chai said: 

Is there much merrit in this way of thinking? I don't know.

I don't think there are many better options. Therapy can be a catalyst. Ignoring your own mind seems perilous.

I read the story you made a few posts prior to this one, and one striking thing about it is that it is devoid of emotional language.