My pursuit is actually tied to the plan I made as a kid to satisfy my most evil desires. I originally wanted to get married so I could have the perfect front to hide my terrible activities. I needed an attractive guy so no one would suspect me.
We were supposed to have some perfect children who we never do anything bad to, so people would assume we were normal or perfect. They wouldn’t be willing to even believe their eyes if they caught us doing something wrong.
My husband was supposed to help me with my evilness, just because it’s easier to not get caught when you have help. Plus, I needed someone to watch me while I savor the moment, and I needed someone to watch, while I image I am doing it. It’s mainly because I don’t have a thing to force into people. It wouldn’t be the same with something fake because you can’t feel it.
I decided before I even came to this site that I wanted to be good, so I came here to find someone who can relate to my weird psycho fantasy, or at least not hate me for wanting that, but who wants to be good and most of all, wants me to be good. I need someone who is a good person, so I can become one too. Looks aren’t very important, just smart and good.
My attempts to find a husband are not selfish and are not random and are not just to get attention or affection from guys. I just want someone to help me be good. Maybe I don’t need to marry them, but I thought I would only be able to respect a guy because he was man enough to marry me, so I thought marriage was necessary, but, apparently, I respect people who I think deserve respect. Anyway, Finding me the right guy to marry could prevent lots of evil acts. Just saying... Maybe help instead of just commenting on my lack of success.