It's been a 6 year run. with periods of breaks. it's been nice knowing you all. but you are all too bad for my mental health.
I've realised this place is a toxic breeding ground of scum and losers. Not all but some. The chat is inactive and i have failed to build any meaningful relationships with anyone here. It's uninteresting here and this forum is irrelevant. I think this place was nice when i was younger because you know i was a teenager and psychology into people's dark minds was interesting. But as I have grown older i've realised you are all just pretentious failing adults who try to cover up your insecurities and failures. It's a dark depressing reality of adult life for some.
So for this reason my 6 year run on this forum is at an end. it has been really fucking horrific talking to everyone here. Everyone has successfully supported my downfall in life and it has been glorious. I have to say i have learnt some interesting things. like how to spam, cryptocurrency trading. Social engineering and develop a sense of independence from the rest of people.
But I've got to say no meaningful relationships have been built here that have been long lasting. So it's pointless to continue to visit this forum. I know I didn't produce any value to this forum as some of you might think and actually just ignored me. But honestly I have enjoyed it here because I got to see the dark side of what adult life can become. The horror stories of adult hood here have truly made me want to become a better person and not become like some of you here. It has been a great learning curve.
As I can see all of you will probably not give a shit. I have failed to get along. Even when I try to get along I just get rejected and pushed aside because apparently my social significance is practically 0 here. and my self worth has plummeted as a result of repeat abuse from this forum.
Being Edgy is cool. But when your visiting a place with a select amount of people and try to show interest and they shrug you off it's kinda hurtful and it really decreases my self worth and creates a toxic mental state of being annoyed. None of you have been great at directly helping my difficulties. I have tried so many times to tell people stuff but they just ignore me. I guess after all I am just a retarded 19 year old with nothing to offer and that is cool. Because I feel that is how most people feel about me.
Hostility has been building up inside of me and it's only some time before it is actually unleashed and all of you here will be useless to unleash my pain and anger onto you. So thus I have to move onto better targets. Not that you was the targets in the first place. I just wanted to actually understand some people here but they just chose to ignore me which yet again is great because I avoided losers teaching me there way of life which I wouldn't of been interested in the first place.
This place has made my life a mess. And although I have been coming here for 6 years on and off I can say as a younger I spent quite some time here and most of it has been negative. There has not been a single positive experience here that I can mention. Yet again I have gone through most of my life only experiencing the negative. and coming here has helped none of that as I can see. I am suffering emotionally and yet even on a forum full of people in the same boat as me fail to understand my deep psychological anguish which further drives me to a point of anger.
I thank everyone here for teaching indirectly that adult reality is a dark place when it does become like that. and i have experienced that myself. Life is not just an easy free ride. Things take time effort and work. and people are selfish and only focused towards helping themselves which makes it difficult for everyone in this world. It's a terrible place but yet again a few people on here have taught me that goodness is rare and when it is shown it's a weakness and helps nobody except for the person being helped and they are most likely using you.
I wish I could treat people with respect but it's hard when you have a paranoid presumption they are working against your best interesting. Since I have been hurt so many times it is hard to let go of cancerous anger that spreads through out me. Oh yeah i'm so edgy but it's true. I am driven to further misery because I misunderstand life it's very self. I can't seem to appreciate what normal people can appreciate. I can't seem to enjoy normal events, this is not because of depression anxiety or emotions (maybe). But I just cannot see the whole point in it. It just seems like a useless social convention that benefits nobody. Maybe there is some value in it but honestly I don't see the point in some things other people do.
I'm an idiot for even interacting with the scumbags of this forum such as jim he is rotten. Maybe I am wrong but from what I have seen of him and talked to him about there is no redeeming qualities to him what so ever. He is a pedophile, a scam artist a rapist and many other things. He has a fast wit but that is all there is to him. I can appreciate that he can sometimes come from a place of understanding but this all seems superficial and fake.
So. This is my goodbye I hope you all have a really nice life and live good. It has been a really interesting experience interacting with everyone here. But yet again I have proven to myself I will never fit into anywhere and I will also be ignored as a loser, someone they don't want to interact with, somebody who is an idiot. Thus life has become pointless as I have just became another target by everyone I meet there is truly no point to this pathetic existence right now. I hope it gets better but probably wont.
I don't expect anybody to care or give a shit but I honestly never gave a shit about anyone after a certain age because i've realised people have selfishly used me, benefited from me and laughed at me behind my back or to my face. and it fucking hurts and nobody realises or cares. Life has been vicious but I know I can make it better. and I have to improve myself before things take a worse turn.
So I have decided to completely give up on this forum. In a nutshell. It's because of irrelevancy, stupidity, depressing, anger, ignored, disrespected, not appreciated, bullied, bullying and just general boring time for now. I might be back if this forum ever becomes active.
I know you everyone here won't give a shit but goodbye.
