I wanted to learn more about sociopathy. I found some random circles of people i don't normally interract with: people with actual real world issues. I should check my privilege really. Your worlds are fascinating for me as an outsider. I learned a thing or two about psychological terminology, medical treatment, etc.
As edgy as it sounds. I saw suffering, and it amused me. Now it really isn't nice for me to feel like this, and I suppose I'm paying the price with some suffering of my own resulting from interracting with this environment.
It's just habitual at this point really, from what I observe in myself. I come here, I see what the lads are up to, I throw in some random interraction, or I vent, then I go on my way out. It's a convenient pastime after all.