Write them here. I'm suicidal all the time. Maybe 3-4 bad episodes. Last time when I had to finish my thesis in 2 month. This was in August/September last year.
I don't just mean suicidal thoughts etc, I mean suicidal. Like really strong intrusive thoughts or images coming to your head, you ordering shit from China to inject, cutting all ties with people around you etc.. Not blancs histrionic bullshit obviously. Also blanc, you are not allowed to write in here because you have never been suicidal and you will never kill yourself.
last edit on
2/7/2021 7:25:36 PM
Attempted suicide at 16 when I was kicked out of the house
Made another attempt in January 2019 when I separated from my russian ex bf, slit my wrists, was found by dad, sent to hospital
Had thought of suicide after an argument with waifu in August, when I thought she will leave me
Did not have suicidal episodes since
consumed by avarice
A single one. Back when I was only 10. I saw the world as such a terrible place, where your actions are constrained by consequences, and happiness had to be earned, and was only temporary, which I found extremely unfair. I rummaged about it for about a month, thinking about ways to do it that were accessible, and thinking about whether there's some other way or not. I did however decide that I should restrict myself: if I'm to not kill myself by a certain day, there's no going back, that no matter what happens, or what becomes necessary, I'll do it and survive.
That day came, I simple left the house and went to some tall communist block that I had scouted beforehand which I could enter, and where I could reach the roof. I lingered by one of the edges, making sure there's nobody that could spot me that could create some inconveniences. I thought for a while about how easy it would be to simply take the dive. It was really alluring. While being distracted by my train of thought, a pigeon flew close to my face and startled me. And that was pretty significant, it was enough to fill me with inexplicable dread at what I was about to do. So, I didn't jump. And went back home resigned with my fate to live. And so, I've never even considered suicide as a realistic option ever since.
Some ramifications of that event are, that since "fate" chose to make me live like that, I'll see where "fate" takes it all, and because of that, anything I do is perfectly justified.
last edit on
2/7/2021 9:34:02 PM
Attempted suicide at 16 when I was kicked out of the house
Made another attempt in January 2019 when I separated from my russian ex bf, slit my wrists, was found by dad, sent to hospital
Had thought of suicide after an argument with waifu in August, when I thought she will leave me
Did not have suicidal episodes since
u sicken me u fucking weak bitch. u call urself a man? ur nothing ur a fucking faggot and a pussy. suicide after an argument? ur a fucking pussy bitch fucking do this world a favor and jump from a bridge nigger.
Attempted suicide at 16 when I was kicked out of the house
Made another attempt in January 2019 when I separated from my russian ex bf, slit my wrists, was found by dad, sent to hospital
Had thought of suicide after an argument with waifu in August, when I thought she will leave me
Did not have suicidal episodes since
u sicken me u fucking weak bitch. u call urself a man? ur nothing ur a fucking faggot and a pussy. suicide after an argument? ur a fucking pussy bitch fucking do this world a favor and jump from a bridge nigger.
lol, I feel too good to kill myself now tbh, maybe some other time
consumed by avarice
