Just a quick personal announcement. Sort of getting out a little bit of where my head is at.
I really feel like I finally reached this fork in the road or a sort of closing of a chapter and an opening of a new one. All the things that used to linger in my life and keep me tethered to a different mental space, I’ve been freeing myself of. Both relationally environmentally- as well as internally, cleaning up my own head space. Experiencing revolutions in thought, opening up to parts of myself, and growing, maturing, etc. Changing in perspectives, and becoming more aware. More aware of myself, knowing myself, and more aware of, life and its truths and how it works.
I spent a really long time sort of lingering in a liminal space where I felt I wasn’t “enough” - in whatever area, to achieve anything, that I wanted out of life. But in the process of building myself up and bettering myself, my mental space and, really just reaching clarity on a lot of things. Who I am. What is important to me. Values. Etc.
I feel I’ve been more able to take better care of myself than I did before. Being less toxic to myself and others in my thoughts and actions. And experiencing a momentum again, a drive, to do things- for my life that is not rooted in, seeking outside acceptance, or filling some sort of void.
With the implementation of this new growth into action, into habits, and my decisions, etc. it’s allowed me to be mentally strong enough to just say no to things that are simply not *for* me. Or aren’t going to offer anything toward my recovery, my goals, my well being. Perrogatives, values, etc.
So TLDR; I know no one cares but. I am opening a new chapter in my life and... actually happy to move forward. Actually capable, of being “unstuck”
And I appreciate... bearing with me as, I attempted to approach this space. I can definitely feel that I am very close if not in, this new chapter and. I look forward to, participating in my own life more, and approaching my decisions with this new clarity as I continue to grow forward.
I feel more chill than I’ve ever been, and less stressed, and I think it’s been good to sort of get that stress level in balance and being able to approach my life from a balanced calm state of being.
I wish you all wellness, and thank you for coming on this journey with me. As I developed my own sense of self responsibility and ownership, and attempted to mature past, and untangle myself from or “shed the shell” of a past which I really didn’t need to hold onto anymore. And as I came into myself, confusions and all, I appreciate providing a space where I could do that, as well as air what needed to be said, or felt. And I appreciate the brutally honest feedback as well. It’s easy to dismiss the hate as hate, but it’s harder to accept them as grains of truth.
I thank you for allowing me to shed the dead weight of thought patterns and behavior that were ultimately destroying me and limiting my quality of life. And for putting up with it along the way.
You got to see the messiest parts of me and my life. And I am grateful for what I have learned, here, as I exposed this vulnerably.
Moving onward... I can’t wait to see what the future holds. And I’m grateful that I am able to feel that way about life again, as I used to have perspectives that limited this outlook and hindered the ability to fully enjoy and experience life. I am glad to see myself sort of come out of that darkness. The same as I once was, but also new.
