Man, it's been a while of some crazy shit.
People are getting high on their own complacency and analysing stuff in an egotistical manner.
Who really gives a shit, what really does it do for you?
It's fascinating.
I found no answers, only a peek into a way of life that's deeply detrimental to happiness and functionality.
What makes someone bother to take their time and express themselves as they do online like this?
First, let's simply ignore the content. It's just irrelevant. The rules of the online echo chamber dictate how a person thinks they can or can't talk. Interests are the only small speck of individuality, the rest is just entourage dictated.
It's very simple. It's lack of anything better to do. Isn't that extremely sad? "There is nothing I could better spend my time on, than to do this activity right now". And procrastination, sure. This is some depressive shit.
I wonder what makes me post this now. It's probably the same as everybody else innit. That's kinda sad. Maybe it's a bad habit too. How much of what we do every day is actually an expression of our momentary will, and how much is just an automatism?
I had a goal in mind. A goal behind all this actually. A simple idiotic wish. Such a phyric victory that was. Perhaps there's some wisdom to that. Subconcious self-hatred and shadow shit innit. It makes sense after all. If I went for similarity, then saw how terrible similarity is in actuality, it would only make sense for it to be the case.
You're your own people. But you're me as well. I've seen enough of me for a long while. What comes next? Who even am I for you to have read this far? Did it do anything for you? Of course not. You might as well be disappointed, as there was nothing pertaining to your interests and curiosities over here.
So why am I even posting. An exercise in the absurd? Nah. When you post you want to be heard innit. That's a main driving factor. Why do I want to be heard? Am I feeling unheard? Perhaps, I do believe the world is a place where feelings are made up, and people keep acting according to their own beliefs of who they are and what they want in this ambiguous chaos. Of course, when those beliefs are strong enough, I start viewing them as delusions. They are so damn convinced in their mind that this is the truth, that they are feeling a certain way, that they delude themselves to actually feel it.
Wake up, your entire state of mind is self-induced. You brought it out from your ass and are now wearing it with pride and proclaiming it's reality. What an actual joke. The joke is that there is no other way to live. As long as you exist, those delusional constraints are gripping at you. One way or the other. The only logical conclusion is to simply actively choose your delusions(a delusion by itself) and act them out. Such is the way of life of someone "woke af".
Now this is all bullshit, but it hasn't really streamed away from the initial point. Since there was simply none.
A good argument for the above is that in this world of social interactions, leverage is power. Just that. It's all leverage. And leverage is subjective. A thing you need to understand. Just how much someone thinks they care about something. That's all there is to it really. Find that out about someone, and you can either be nice and baiting, or rude and forcing, makes no difference in the end, the effect is the same.
Aside from this, what is there even to think about.
What are my opportunities, what do I want to achieve?
Truth be told, I'm growing kinda bitter. No more stary eyes dreams for a while. It's all dark and twisted, don't build, destroy. Don't grow, kick down. Don't co-exist, dominate. Why is there so much frustration here. It's all self-induced too. And because of that there's a reason. The reason is laziness. Simple as. When you're too lazy to go out and take what you believe it's yours, when perhaps you're too afraid to test it out, see if it actually belongs to you, then you start inducing those bitter ideas. Fear and sloth aren't very respectable, in fact, I'd say they're quite weak. Since weakness annoys me, it follows that I must purge it from myself.
Look at those paragraphs. So much "person" seeps out of them. Projection, introjection, whatever, who cares, it's all smelling of it. A simple glance into some subconcious functionality and thought patterns.
You can see it can't you. You have an intuitive grasp of it now.
What is your emotional reaction?
Mine would be, to steer away innit. Steer away from reality into escapism.
Though, that's not what I want you to do, and that's why, I can't really afford to do this, now can I?
See, just a little more random blabber by myself and the actual reason for being unheard comes out.
It's detrimental to be speak as everything you say can be held against you. Therefore talk, I shall not. Would be foolish, without a mask. Without something to secure the things I have that I think I care about. More fear. Quite cowardly.
And from this fear, and insecurity comes a need for control. When you're king, there's no more hiding is a foolish belief. There's always hiding, as long as you go through with life in this pattern. The pattern of getting what you want by pretending and shape shifting, rather than the pattern of roaring through like an animal.
A self-imposed lock on yourself. And why? Just to be a slave to some material thing or other.
Although, this slavery is entirely natural. We are all slaves to food, water, and air. The leverage those items have over a human is insane. So this pattern of desperation, is something deeply ingrained in us, to facilitate survival. How does one even break free from this shit? Don't think you can, no not at all. The chains of reality have been tied so tight on our wrists that the markings will stick with us for a lifetime.
It's simple delusion, that's an out I suppose. Ignoring what you perceive as reality, and fabricating a different one in your head. Then forcing it somehow. Do that long enough and you will be smiling, imagining yourself free, while the chains are unbroken.
Madness. Pure and simple insanity.
Though, this madness, is the only option.
The others are simple torment, or non-existence.
To forfeit your reason in favour of peace is to be free. That just doesn't sound logical now does it.
In which case, the goal of madness has been achieved.
I don't need to think about this.
I don't need to post it.
I don't need to read replies, if there even are any.
There is no need. And yet, some unnatural patterns, which mimic those of need, have formed around this whole thing.
Just... break those patterns. Form other ones. And guess who's in the exact same spot, with a meta-pattern being formed.
ARGGGGGGGGGGHHHH there's no fucking way.
To break it all. Absolute rules are required. Simple as that. An absolute structure, to be followed without being broken down is what gets someone out of that meta pattern of breaking and reforging over and over again.
Such an absolute state of being is simply going to be forced on someone if they don't force it on themselves.
Which is a big nono. Some random retard, having control over ME? Now that's infuriating.
Who am I to not be controlled? Nobody. That makes it bad, because nobody gets controlled.
Madness must be practiced then. Madness be hailed. Madness embraced.
And so I propose:
1) Adhere to the madness in lieu of any repercussions you may incur.
2) Be efficient in achieving your desires.
3) Never give up.
4) This is the only way to live.
5) Seek to punish that which you find unsavoury.
6) Reward that which you find savoury.
7) Only allow control through explicit deals.
And more to come.
Ahhh, what a nice list.
What grand words.
How senseless to just talk and do nothing, yet how good it feels.
Love you all, as much as I love the world <3.
