Sociopath Community

I learned my sense of humor from my father, and from my mostly male childhood peers. I never felt that it was a issue personally, and always felt that I should be myself. When I was a little girl, this was the humor I grew used to, and who I evolved to be. But my peers always acted like I was disgusting, while the boys were treated like class clowns. (This, was in an autism class, so this was not because of any other factor, other than that I was eventually liked overall for other reasons) I would tell a crude joke, be punished, and when a boy made the same joke that I just had, people would laugh. I never got along with other girls, and when I was younger, and only played for the most part with male peers, and when I did play with girls I would become attracted to them. I wanted to be a boy, actually as far back as I can recall in my early life, I wanted to be a boy, because it made more sense to me. When I was older, I hire puberty, and my peers made fun of me and called me a dyke and said that I was a nerd, and also that I was a tomboy, and I would be called "it". I started putting on an altra feminine persona, to try and get past the humiliation. To this day, I never wear pants, only skirts, and if I wear pants I am upset. I never brush my hair, because it hurts, I keep it barely groomed enough to be not a biohazard, and I try to hide my hobbies and interests I was made in of for. When I was younger, I was an athlete before my hip and back problem, I would run races, play soccer, play capture the flag, I rode horses, and I won awards in most of these things. I loved melting barbie dolls in the microwave, and setting them on fire. I played with swords and got in fights, and was obsessed with griffons and greek mythology, and in all my stories I was a boy character. My parents heard this theory about autism, this extreme male brain theory, and though what they thought was innacurate, they felt it explained my Behavior. People to this day think I am disgusting because of how I think and speak, but I will never change for you. I changed for you enough as it is, and I have a line. And no, I'm not transgender, I am a girl.