I went psychotic before the night of the wedding. It started with abandonment anxiety, kicked off memories of my mom leaving me in the mall while she went to shop by herself and left me scared and not knowing where she was, then I started hearing shouting and static and broke down into crying helplessly on the floor. We had some alprazolam from my darknet orders and I was able to chill out before it. This was pretty much the worst mental breakdown I had in like 10 years, last time was my mom kicking me out.
I became stable and lucid but I was numb and had 0 feelings the whole time, I went thru the wedding like I was doing some paperwork, just doing what I thought they want me to do and I am supposed to do.
We returned home and I passed out, woke up realizing that it happened. If she does not somehow run away while I am sleeping I will basically be having a real family.
I still cant feel all my feelings fully, just an insane amount of excitement in my chest combined with fear.
I have decided to leave this place for some time as people seem to be unhappy and going through bad stuff and it breaks my fragile mood. I am going to wrap myself in a bubble of comfortable betafaggotry and joy (if i manage to)
Tryp, I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me not sperg and do something retarded. I owe you my woman's holes, no please, I insist, come over and use her.
If anyone wants to get raped they can come to ibis ambassador hotel in Seoul on May 18, you can also meet my waman.
I also want to apologize for all the people I hurt here verbally as I was acting out my own anger. I take it all back.
Hugs and kisses to everyone and wish you all a happy year!
