Anxious and every synonym of it available. I thought that I had already experienced enough and have been vulnerable about enough to make it through without absolutely hating myself. The image of myself is ever-changing, frequently distorted by new motives, new drives, new loves... but I always go back to the old ones. Being the Filipino Hannah Montana, getting back into my first car and road-tripping to Carlsbad - alone. Now, with you: I'm unsure if I'd ever want you again, but I'm restless at night: sitting in my bed, thinking of you. Sitting in my chair, this very day, I continue, I remain, to be alone. Not yet old enough even to forget with a bottle. I am haunted by the undead ghost of you. And nothing can shake it. Because after 11:55, when I get up from this chair and move to another, probably outside, you'll still be with me. And when I die, whenever that is, I sincerely believe that you'll be there with me, too. Sitting in my bed, sitting in this chair, sitting at the place of my death... Anxious and every synonym of it available.
3
posts
Anxious and every synonym of it available. I thought that I had already experienced enough and have been vulnerable about enough to make it through without absolutely hating myself. The image of myself is ever-changing, frequently distorted by new motives, new drives, new loves... but I always go back to the old ones. Being the Filipino Hannah Montana, getting back into my first car and road-tripping to Carlsbad - alone. Now, with you: I'm unsure if I'd ever want you again, but I'm restless at night: sitting in my bed, thinking of you. Sitting in my chair, this very day, I continue, I remain, to be alone. Not yet old enough even to forget with a bottle. I am haunted by the undead ghost of you. And nothing can shake it. Because after 11:55, when I get up from this chair and move to another, probably outside, you'll still be with me. And when I die, whenever that is, I sincerely believe that you'll be there with me, too. Sitting in my bed, sitting in this chair, sitting at the place of my death... Anxious and every synonym of it available.
your cat?
3
posts