"Live in the moment" can be pretty nice, yeah.
Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
It's got to suck being older in how the love isn't as innocent and blind as before, some part of you's got to be looking for "where things will go wrong" so that it won't hurt you if/when it happens.
Is... is that how you feel in relationships? What's so sad :(
Sc is pretty boring.
It's got to suck being older in how the love isn't as innocent and blind as before, some part of you's got to be looking for "where things will go wrong" so that it won't hurt you if/when it happens.
Is... is that how you feel in relationships? What's so sad :(
Not as much lately, but with age comes experience and the assumption of patterns.
Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
It's got to suck being older in how the love isn't as innocent and blind as before, some part of you's got to be looking for "where things will go wrong" so that it won't hurt you if/when it happens.
Is... is that how you feel in relationships? What's so sad :(
Not as much lately, but with age comes experience and the assumption of patterns.
tbh I too would have a negative outlook on life and relationships if i was THIRTY
It's got to suck being older in how the love isn't as innocent and blind as before, some part of you's got to be looking for "where things will go wrong" so that it won't hurt you if/when it happens.
Is... is that how you feel in relationships? What's so sad :(
Not as much lately, but with age comes experience and the assumption of patterns.
tbh I too would have a negative outlook on life and relationships if i was THIRTY
I foresee you taking it harder than I did, as I personally find more comfort in the lack of mystery. It's when I was younger that I was more desperate and cringey about it, where the pain of loss and rejection hurt more from lacking experience with the expectation. Now that it's not as scary I feel like I can actually breathe, like I can relax with my partner and exist as something closer to one mind, rather than sit there gunshy through how disconnected I'd otherwise be with my partner.
With age I've seen out of myself the same room for assumptions and patterns, and with time have begun to more understand what I want. Rather than chasing chemical expressions aimlessly, I prefer to look at the bigger picture and see if they are or aren't able to give me the things I need to be happier. I don't want to waste my time aimlessly with prospects when I can otherwise handle it as not just amorousness, but also needs and function. I'm thankful for BDSM labels over how it saves tons of time.
Idealism is blinding and often self-sabotaging, while this is calm like a temple.
Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
last edit on
12/14/2020 12:14:08 AM
It's got to suck being older in how the love isn't as innocent and blind as before, some part of you's got to be looking for "where things will go wrong" so that it won't hurt you if/when it happens.
Is... is that how you feel in relationships? What's so sad :(
Not as much lately, but with age comes experience and the assumption of patterns.
Not for me. I find it unfair to people when their partners project qualities/ patterns from previous relationships onto them and my general advice to friends is to avoid partners who do this. If patterns are emerging in your relationship maybe it's yourself you need to take a look at and not the existence of relationships themselves. I see relationships I've started as unique experiences because they involve people who are very different, and looking back I don't see any kind of pattern. Each relationship broke down due to realizations of incompatibility, but for different reasons each time.
I have faith my current relationship will last since there haven't been any red flags of incompatibility.
If you are waiting for patterns of destruction to set in maybe you are manifesting them yourself.
Sc is pretty boring.
It's got to suck being older in how the love isn't as innocent and blind as before, some part of you's got to be looking for "where things will go wrong" so that it won't hurt you if/when it happens.
Is... is that how you feel in relationships? What's so sad :(
Not as much lately, but with age comes experience and the assumption of patterns.
Not for me. I find it unfair to people when their partners project qualities/ patterns from previous relationships onto them and my general advice to friends is to avoid partners who do this.
How many people have you dated? Have you not noticed any patterns in their tendencies that otherwise reflect who you are?
It's only projecting qualities and patterns if they're assumed to be in every individual, like what we see appear from sexism, but to deny the presence of patterns at all is straight ignorance. Rather than sit here and loath patterns over some sort of assumed inevitability, I instead embrace them when I see their expression for what they can offer towards the situation.
If patterns are emerging in your relationship maybe it's yourself you need to take a look at and not the existence of relationships themselves.
Yes precisely, especially if you keep dating people with the same tendencies that you otherwise think you hate.
It's only through others that we can ever hope to see ourselves.
I see relationships I've started as unique experiences because they involve people who are very different, and looking back I don't see any kind of pattern. Each relationship broke down due to realizations of incompatibility, but for different reasons each time.
Mine too, but much like social archetyping and labeling there were still patterns that emerged. It's good to go at new situations with an open mind rather than the resentment of older wounds, but if you know what you like why ignore the preference, and if you recognize a true expression of something bad why deny it's existence?
I have faith my current relationship will last since there haven't been any red flags of incompatibility.
Youthful idealism's nice like that, but rifts are quite natural and occur even in happier couples.
It's better to recognize that these things can happen to anyone and make peace within self-confidence following either scenario, rather than leave yourself blind to the possibilities. It's not some sort of relationship sin to venture how human behavior applies outside of the rose tinted glasses.
If you are waiting for patterns of destruction to set in maybe you are manifesting them yourself.
It only serves to "destroy" the illusions being hosted about the relationship. With enough emotional maturity the risks should be able to be looked at without imagining them coming into light.
Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
last edit on
12/14/2020 12:59:30 AM
