I’ve done therapy. What would you like to know specifically about my experience.
I was hospitalized after SUI and then put on Lexapro for depression and anxiety, and then upon discharge was sent to a PTSD specialist for ART therapy. Then I was unwell again and was rehospitalized not much later after my therapist did something to trigger another bad episode. And they gave me benzos this time, klonopin three time a day. Then after a little while and I wasn’t improving my parents sent me to a psychiatrist to try to figure out what was wrong, after little help from therapy. And he said I needed to go to rehab first to sort out my shit, and do residential stay. In this rehab they gave me abilify and buspar in addition to my lexapro, the buspar was to replace the klonopin and the abilify was to boost my lexapro and help my mood.
After that I saw a trauma and addiction specialist, and she tried to do more ART therapy, and sort of tried to process traumas with me. In hopes of, lessening my anxiety panic attacks was her focus.
I stopped seeing her because she broke patient confidentiality relaying information back to my parents that was private.
One day my psychiatrist that normally wrote my scripts wasn’t available so I had to see another one to get my stuff re-filled. Standard appointment but, because they didnt know me they just did some background questions and re-assessed me themselves. I was in such a bad depressive state they wanted to see me again in a few days because they were concerned I was going to hurt myself I guess, I dont know. I took some tests with them as well.
And then upon the second visit they suggested I might have bipolar, cyclothymia, and wanted to give me a medication for that. I forgot what it’s called but I didnt take it because I wanted to get a second opinion.
I’ve done DBT therapy with my first therapist, and then this was kind of the continual theme through out the hospital stays and rehab.
Also when I was 15 or so my parents took me to an ADD specialist and they said I might have ADD. A doctor in the first hospitalization said I had EDNOS, an eating disorder. My second therapist thought I had OCD. My second psychiatrist suggested I was dissociative, before sending me to rehab. My final therapist suggested I had CPTSD. Before I stopped seeing her.
In high school I was sent to in school counseling system because they thought I seemed like I was going to off myself. And I did one on one and group therapy there with some counselors for depression and trauma for two years, which didn’t help much at all other than a therapist told me once that I didn’t deserve what happened to me and that the way I was treated was wrong.
The thing I’ve found most helpful is the NA program as well as group therapy for PTSD, which I just attend on my own volition now. And journaling. But yah, considering going to a doc again just to deal with my own dissociative issues as a result of the ptsd, the panic attack issues and food issues i have, and, to cope with the depressive episodes/possible bipolar. And just, trauma, in general. I like, tend to black a lot of out and forget things happened and then remember some times it’s like patchy and, i go in and out of different seeming personality/mood states. Which makes, stability and consistently for my life slightly difficult. I also need to heal from certain traumas and, a failed relationship, and my own suicidal depressive tendencies, or anxious tendencies.
I’m still coming to understand all of it myself and writing relaly helps for me to see and feel things i sort of can’t normally internally look at. It helps me have oversight to know, what causes things and, what i need to work on specifically because of how xyz behavior is affecting me in xyz way, etc. just, self monitoring and, pattern recognition, etc.
