May 21st:Oh boy where to start. I couldn't access to 8ch because my service provider shut it down after Christchurch, even posting through another dns was a hassle, I don't know it was a weird year. Got caught up with work and was relapsing. I made ti for a good 80-90 days at the start of last year but then fell back into another cycle of relieving myself once or twice a week.
If I had to estimate how much I masturbated last year it would have been around 40-50 times.
I never had an addiction with porn or have had ED but I feel like it's one thing if I could change about myself I would. So I'm on Day 26 and it has been testing, especially the weekends in quarantine where I can't go out and don't have work to distract me. Have had many erections but no touching. In the cold weather my flaccid dick is swollen, so are the balls, my body wants me to bust inside a woman so bad but I've been here before.
Here's hoping I can get to one hundred and outlast the southern hemisphere winter.
June 6th: So Day 42 of NoFap I guess. Did wake up to ejaculate a couple of days ago but no touching, I put it down to more vivid dreams. That's one thing I've noticed dreams are so much more clearer.
Other changes, more energy when weightlifting, I basically stand and move all day, transitioned to a standing desk setup when I get home and I would say I have the will to stick to it rather than the energy. So the commitment to things in life for has been breaking a mental barrier of apathy.
Looking better, feeling better. The riots have been a huge distraction as well, been doing a lot of reading, maybe the whole thing even the arrest of George Floyd was a giant psyop/show. Always happens on elections years.
June 11th: Day 47. The dreams have been very, very vivid. Image clarity and touch now. Sharing a night with a woman that isn't even real. This is like detox. I've been lifting and exercising more, still getting a lot of sun in this winter and have had good red meat.
I wake up frustrated, my attempts are powerful but brief and often find my mind wandering about fucking.
I can't (won't) break though. I'm looking and feeling more energetic ever.
June 19th: Day 55, not much has changed. Better control over my urges. Doing really well. Sleep quality is much, much better.
June 25th: Day 61, still going. Feeling stronger.
June 30th: Day 66, I am fucking breaking here. This is torture. My sex drive has me taking cold showers in winter with the bathroom window (frosted) swung ajar. Corona quarantine lockdowns are going back to being more restrictive. Lord give me strength.
July 7th: Day 73
Much better, didn't give in. I have cycles of being really horny but something about waking up the last couple of days lets me think the worst of it is over. Six week lockdown in Victoria so I'll be seeing Day 100 out in isolation.
July 22nd: Well its come to an end on Day 87.
Curse this lockdown. I've basically worked on anything I could and when I was out of options allowed my fantasies cure boredom.
I haven't been able to sit down with a group of friends for a beer and a laugh in months and the only thing anyone is talking about here is fucking masks and gay neolib politics.
Same time I went on a streak like this I also relapsed im between Day 80-90.
Well I'm fully aware of how much of a choice it is. It was a good streak, here's to another.