Sociopath Community

That's nice man but let's be honest here. Do you really think you can pull all that off? Maybe you should just give up... 

Xadem said: 

That's nice man but let's be honest here. Do you really think you can pull all that off? Maybe you should just give up... 

 The weird thing is that when people agree with what I say, it just makes me more motivated to do what I wish to do, but I know at the end of the day, you're just a silly trickster xadem <3

H1mml3r said: 

Still trying to get a job, I want to get a job, get my own place, and probably just go to this cheaper college ik for welding. I fucked myself over dropping out the first time, but it was my decision, and my fuck up. I regret it deeply, but I have to move on.

You can aim higher than that.

I seriously wish to get back into cardio, I want to essentially look like this chad. There's a lot I wish to achieve in life, and it gets frustrating when I procrastinate. 

A song about him. A true respectable emperor. 

Why do you want to be like him? Cause he looks good, or is there some deeper reason?

Legga said:

Why do you want to be like him? Cause he looks good, or is there some deeper reason?

 Constantine XI was the last Emperor of the Byzantines, rather than flee like a coward, and he fought and died with his people in their last breath. 

Others can make out the identity of this alt that I use, I have a common theme in the topics I speak of, and the way I speak. I refuse to go back to my main though, that's a dead thing. The reasons why I refuse to return to the account are personal.

I tell myself I can succeed. The issue is, or at least what I view the issue as, is the current environment I am in makes it hard for me to focus, and for me to be better. I get distracted and angered by my family a lot, and I think that if I am able to get my own place, that I could grow as a person, and become better.

There is a lot I wish to do, my dream is to become a polymath, but I doubt myself, and think that because of the life I have lived, and where I was born, that I am not destined for such greatness. 


The way Turncoat has described me in the past is as a "short-circuited robot" 

One goal, I'd like to focus on since I personally believe it would be the key to expanding my mind would be to learn Latin. I have the tools to learn it, but I get so distracted. I believe Latin would help me to learn learning in general considering it's the language that scholars use. 

There's this girl I grew up with, I had a crush on her in late middle school (we had middle school and junior high combined into one thing, so I guess late junior high)

She had a hard life, and now she was able to gtfo, get a job, has her own fucking house, and shit. She deals with some financial issues, but admittedly, I paid her 100 dollars to help support her, and I consider her somewhat of an inspiration. (I paid her the 100 dollars because she started an onlyfans and I guess that's one way to support her. I guess that makes me a simp, but I don't expect her to just share her body, its her body, her choice, but obviously, I find her to be a beautiful person inside and out.)

I get reminded of another whose suicide was a tiny over a year ago, she was also a school friend I grew up with, and she moved away for a while because her mother died, and she also had a rough life. When she came back, I developed a crush on her, and her senior year she got pregnant, and I remember helping her out with her classes we shared and told her if she ever needed anything I'd be there for her. I had mental issues so I distanced away from her after high school, and stopped checking on her, so sometimes I think I could've prevented it but I don't know. There's probably subconscious things fucking with me, because when I went to go see her corpse in the casket, I felt nothing. I did't cry, but I still check her facebook from time to time to see her closer friends mourning and such. 

She was a sweet beautiful girl. It's a shame what happened to her. The baby is in the care of her family though. 

Baby steps. 

Before you ignite your will of fire you must nourish its embers. 

AliceInWonderland said: 

Baby steps. 

Before you ignite your will of fire you must nourish its embers. 

 My base goal as of this time is to essentially focus on getting job and getting out of my house, if I do go down the welding path, then I intend to join a union. I mean any job I get I'd like to get unionized if possible, but I know there are good opportunities in the welding field, plus if theoretically the world would go to shit, any new nation would probably have a demand for people with technical skills. I got a friend who lives 4 hours away from me, we plan on moving in together in a few years.

H1mml3r said:

 Constantine XI was the last Emperor of the Byzantines, rather than flee like a coward, and he fought and died with his people in their last breath. 

Cool.

Others can make out the identity of this alt that I use, I have a common theme in the topics I speak of, and the way I speak. I refuse to go back to my main though, that's a dead thing. The reasons why I refuse to return to the account are personal.

There is a lot I wish to do, my dream is to become a polymath, but I doubt myself, and think that because of the life I have lived, and where I was born, that I am not destined for such greatness. 

Motivation and taking ownership over your own actions are the two most important predictors of success imho. When I work with students, they don't need someone who tells them what to do or feeds information down their throats. Instead, they need someone who gives them an opportunity to take ownership of their own work, to motivate them, and give them permission to do anything they want to do. I find that this helps studets more than any information or physics lecture I can give them.

The problem is that where there's no motivation, there's no ownership, independence, or ability to take leaps of faith and improve; it's replaced by an inclination towards security and comfort. People with good motivation but bad tools always outperform people with bad motivation but good tools. IQ, grades, knowledge, all of that has been worth less than garbage in my experience.

The way Turncoat has described me in the past is as a "short-circuited robot" 

Well, you're humble, which is refreshing.

One goal, I'd like to focus on since I personally believe it would be the key to expanding my mind would be to learn Latin. I have the tools to learn it, but I get so distracted. I believe Latin would help me to learn learning in general considering it's the language that scholars use. 

Go for it.

I get reminded of another whose suicide was a tiny over a year ago, she was also a school friend I grew up with, and she moved away for a while because her mother died, and she also had a rough life. When she came back, I developed a crush on her, and her senior year she got pregnant, and I remember helping her out with her classes we shared and told her if she ever needed anything I'd be there for her. I had mental issues so I distanced away from her after high school, and stopped checking on her, so sometimes I think I could've prevented it but I don't know. There's probably subconscious things fucking with me, because when I went to go see her corpse in the casket, I felt nothing. I did't cry, but I still check her facebook from time to time to see her closer friends mourning and such.

 I guess people mourn differently. There's nothing wrong with you, maybe you're depressed. Or focussed on your feelings too much, which kind of destroys the magic.

Legga said:

You outed yourself a long time ago, Inquirer.

 I wasn't expecting that. It's a strange thing. I've been accused of being Bohemian in the past, then some girl? I think named "Chet" never met her. Then there was a girl that took up the same name that I used that I also never met. 

I materialized in this community in October of 2018, so the 2 year mark is nearing it's destination. It' just that I've only shown up for periods, and then disappeared. 

I know that Inquierer and I both like Roman history and similar tastes in music, but beyond that I don't think we're similar. Definitely not politically I would think.

I wonder who else will be among the list of those thought to be me. 

Legga said:

Well, you're humble, which is refreshing.

 Perhaps my memory is malfunctioning on me, but I think that's a point that Turncoat would disagree on? I actually can't remember, but from what I know she views me as narcissistic? I think that's also why people thought I was Bohemian for a time?

I'd say narcissism can be a case but for me it's more of a flair or exaggeration of my personality whenever it does come out. I will scream I AM GOD! to my friends if we play a game as I destroy them. 

Legga said:

I guess people mourn differently. There's nothing wrong with you, maybe you're depressed. Or focussed on your feelings too much, which kind of destroys the magic.

 I'd argue there are some things that indicate there is at least something wrong with me. Maybe not severe, but definitely something. I've killed small animals like frogs, mice, and fish for fun. Fish was added to the list a few months ago, but only 2 so far, but I get thoughts of just wanting to stomp one to death, but from what I know fish don't even feel so what's the point truly.

I don't know if I'll get into perceptions of myself from my life. Very briefly I'd say I grew up depressed and suicidal, and that got worse and worse until I started having mental breakdowns which induced periods of apathy and numbness until I woke up just like that without it stopping, though it's hard to describe as that, as I know I've been more emotional recently, and at times. Though, people not professionals just people I've met online consider me a sociopath which I don't see myself as such. I know I've been an asshole and unempathetic to others but I don't think that's severe enough to make me something I don't think I am. 

I'll try to get back into studying then, but if I can't, then I will try to full throttle my way into getting my own place to peace and serenity, and then with that I will force myself to learn and progress one way or another, obviously with baby steps as Alice has stated, but if I somehow can't then I don't know what else there is for me to exist in this world. I have other topics I could ramble on, such as I don't know what I am in terms of identity. I think of myself as just some human of Earth. 

I do appreciate the engagement with a conversation with me. Though, if at any point I am not making any sense or whatever, obviously you need not respond. Most of the time, I just ramble to myself.