this one makes me think of what school was like after i got out of the institution and how the other students treated me, i was called a nerd a lot, and a "jew" and called weird and ugly and crazy all the time, and i was also called autistard and so on, and they always made fun of how i never brushed my hair. i wasnt a nerd though, i had never been allowed to learn anything, and suddenly i was somewhere i was taught everything, with a full library, so ofc i was interested just like any of them would have been in my shoes. they always made up rumors about me and one of the rumors was that i was a drug addict and even the teachers suspected this at the time, and my backpack was checked, but i had a bunch of weird bugs and plants and shit in there and rocks, and they threw them all away. i kept them to study them, i wanted to collect the same things i found in my books and do experiments with them, and my science teacher said he would let me use his lab equipment but they didnt listen to me. then i fell in love with my science teacher although i was in denial about it at the time (and no i didnt flirt) and all the students knew and fucked with me over it. i was also made fun of for always chasing squirrels but this was because even back then i loved rodentology. i was behind in puperty with my other classmates, rumors circulated that i was gay although i just gave no shits about boys at the time, because i liked my science teacher, and although i joke like it, i have never been sexual to the people i like in my affections, its complicated. my science teacher was married so i did not pursue them or flirt with them or anything of the sort. i did hope my science teacher would adopt me and take me away from my abusive home at the time. my science teacher was the ONLY PERSON in the school at the time who had conversations with me. this lasted A YEAR. but because i complex legal issues with my brother, i never explained i was being abused at home. i acted so odd that i was kept apart from the other students in every class except science, my science teacher was the only teacher to have me at that time. i would get in fights with the students because they would bully me and i did not know how to explain to my teachers i was being bullied in a way they understood, all they heard was word salad or as my classmates put it (crazy rambling robot voice) and this was why i was kept apart. the teachers saw i was weird, saw there were issues, and isolated me rather than trying to hear me.
