Hooters to me always seemed cheap, at least Heart Attack Grill promises their employees room to hit the customers after watching them willingly poison themselves.
Only three hits though, what made for that change?
Hooters to me always seemed cheap, at least Heart Attack Grill promises their employees room to hit the customers after watching them willingly poison themselves.
Only three hits though, what made for that change?
Lol you're such a weirdo.
My sister put this restaurant on her bucket list.
Not sure if she's big enough to eat for free anymore.
She had a real heart attack and had to go to the hospital for awhile.
She lost 80 lbs since then.
I put this place on my lottery list for her 😉
When I first got to this restaurant with no prior idea of what it was, I thought it was just a super gimmicky Vegas attraction meant to trap tourists. Looking in the window from outside, I could see that everyone inside was wearing hospital smocks as bibs and that all the waitresses were dressed in archetypally kinky nurse outfits. Outside of the place, and inside the restaurant, they have a giant scale that doubles as a stage to see if someone is heavy enough to eat this food for free.
Once inside, I was ushered through a room with multiple videos and posters warning me about how many calories it is and how dangerous it is to eat this food. The wall is plastered with parody pictures of older movies modified to be themed as some sort of unhealthy food parody. There's televisions playing goofy song choices like "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" or "Milkshake" with their staff dancing around in the footage, as well as motivational music like old hair metal bands. The place also had the remains of his dead customer on display for all to see, as part of "The Message".
Upon being sat down I see the menu (as pictured above) and figure that I should go for "The Middle Option" (The Quadruple Bypass Burger) based on how much I used to be able to eat when I was younger. It did not dawn on me how many calories that actually was, nor did I pay attention to the fact that everything there's fried in lard and prepared in a truly intimidating way. I also ordered their chocolate milkshake, which comes with a pad of butter on top.
The server was named "Yenny" (her hair color was different):
She carried cold eyes with a worker's smile (the dark makeup made her look a little scarier than the other waitresses). After ordering something way too large for me to finish, she tells me "Just so you know, those who don't finish their food get paddled" as she pointed towards a metal apparatus that faces the front window with hand holds that, when held, basically force your ass to poke out all fetish-like. I couldn't contain my laughter, which was taken more as a nervous gesture.
After sitting around for a while, I see my food arrive and start laughing at the sheerly absurdist portions of it:
The photo makes this thing look considerably more tame than it does in person (dryer too). 20* slices of super thick bacon, greasy cheese dripping off the side, patties bigger and greasier than most I'd ever seen, and super doughy bread to frame this intimidating monster. 10,000 calories in one burger, that's five days worth of food. Add on top of that their insanely thick milkshake...
I didn't make it through it all. It was truly an amazing tasting burger at first, and I made it through three of the four patties and finished the milkshake (including the pad of butter), but past that point I couldn't even taste what I was putting into myself anymore... and with that texture it was no longer appetizing. She saw me as I was close to giving up and immediately approached the table a few times to ask "If I was ready". More nervous laughter, and eventually... yeah, I had to face my paddling.
I'm asked if it should be "Naughty or Nice" for how hard it should be, and I go with Naughty (apparently "Nice" has you spanked by a dwarf). Picking naughty meant being spanked by her, which, was about what I figured would happen. I put my hands on the apparatus and it suddenly dawned on me that there's a lot of people outside who I guess watch this happening alongside the other roadside attractions (people doing "the robot" for money, dudes playing drums or guitar, that kinda shtick).
All this anticipation and build up, and... the smack was weak. I looked at her and apparently asked "Is that all you got?", which had her expression shift to something more challenged looking. "Oh you want more?" she stated before hitting very fast and very hard as compulsive laughter poured out of me, inciting harder and faster hits to echo across the now otherwise quiet restaurant.
It was amazing.
I turned back around and saw the restaurant had been watching very intensely (some of them were standing up with really intense expressions). I got some light applause (and some random hand shakes from other smocked patrons), hugged Yenny as she exclaimed "He's crazy" while otherwise making jokes about how I must have a paddle like this at home, and otherwise couldn't stop laughing at this situation as I sat back down on my now sore ass cheek. Other people got spankings afterwards as well over not finishing their meals, but the smacks were much quieter and the reactions were less interesting.
I bought a souvenir paddle to remember the experience by, and otherwise got the rest of my meal to-go to attempt to finish at a later time. My digestion was... not fun for the next few days, but truly made for a memorable experience.
Seriously, best restaurant ever.
this doesnt read like you at all
