I’m so tired
im trying to fix things but nothing seems to really work
i can only sleep four hours and wake four hours and this cycle repeats
even when I try to force myself to stay asleep with meds and force myself to stay awake during the entire day
I’ve been able to get it so I fall asleep at a fairly decent time of night, but then instead of staying asleep till 8am, 9am- 11am
i wake up up at midnight
every, single, time.
Extended release melatonin puts me to sleep but it doesn’t keep me asleep like the doctor who recommend it to me was hoping it would.
I read that this inability to stay asleep is associafed
worh depression, but even when I’m having a fairly decent happy balanced mind set- the best that I’ve had in a wjile, the sleeping pattern persists.
I also experience extreme fatigue, body aches, and chronic compression head aches- occasionally migraines which OTC meds don’t do jack shit for
i am taking all the meds perscribed to me which is quite a lot, to account for every single deficiency or dysfunction in my body- everything has been looked at down to the molecular level and assesses in finite detail.
There is nothing missing.
Yet the same problems persist. It’s a life style I’ve gotten used to and i don’t complain about it in my daily life or even mention it. It’s just natural to me that I always sort of feel like shit.
I compensate with caffeine even though my doctor discouraged me from it- in order to get through things I otherwise wouldn’t be able to without it
There are good days and then really really bad days, sometimes I end up in the hospital dry heaving because the migraines are so severe I’m just begging them to make it stop.
Meditation, relaxation, rest, sun, exercise- these things help. Plus meds and recommended diet.
But yeah these are just the symptoms I can’t seem to knock.
When I have gotten IV’s I always feel great afterward and I wish I felt like that all the time- but it wares off within hours. The cost of this treatment from home or at a clinic as a daily practice racks up to 300 minimum a day.
Ive done massages as well and take a cleansing medication, tried cleansing teas- to rid the body of toxins and build up. It doesn’t help with the pain or the fatigue. Someone recommended I try it though. With hydration and gut cleansing/artery cleansing techniques.
Regular messages to get rid of toxin build up in the tissues would amount to hundreds of dollars a week if done at the recommended rate one to two times a week.
I try everything I can to fall asleep and stay asleep. I try everything I can to make my body well and replenish it, and make it function and run smoothly.
but it’s just weak. I used to be so healthy and vibrant and strong, and energetic.
And ober the years ive watched myself just turn to a shadow of that person and being too unwell physically or mentally often enough to end up sitting out of a lot, a lot of things in life.
I just had had to learn to enjoy other things which is fine, but sometimes I forget about the epitome of health and abundance I once had.
Due to severe anemia I’m unable to run or exert myself physically for long periods of time. It took sports of any form completely off the table for me but I continued fighting it as Long as I could- despite the issue getting progressively worse.
At at first I could manage laps, and then it was reduced down to momentary spurts of running in a casual soccer game on the beach. That was the last thing I was able to do and I did that *a lot* until slowly I wasn’t able to anymore.
One day I attempted to play a game with my friends and was only able to make it but 30/60 seconds into the game before I had to sit down and couldn’t breath for the rest of the day.
I can’t run. Sometimes even a quick walk will make me throw up and close up the air ways, or even just talking really loudly for too long, exerting myself too hard with some faster paced shopping at the mall, taking a hot shower for too long.
Sometimes it’s pain here for a week, then pain there for a week, then another paid for a week. And it’s like you can’t win.
Every now now and then you finally get a good nights rest and you have a good day, but it doesn’t last long and you know it won’t so you try to make the most of it and end up over exerting yourself.
Bouts of depression that swallow up months months of time, bouts of anxiety that take something fun or normal and turn it into a nightmare.
Between all lf this shit having a good day, with mental and physical health fairly decent- is a rarity.
But it I appreciate still what I have because I have seen worse and experienced scarier things than what I deal with on a regular basis.
I jusr wish wish I wasn’t so tired all the time. No more head aches and just a full nights sleep.
My parents were pushing cbd oil on me and with medicinal marijuana being legal I’ve considered it many times. Just mainly for the pain and periods of psychological duress.
But im just on the fence about it.
