Dear Mary Anne,
By the time you read this letter, I will be probably dead, as we are to invade Fartobia pretty soon.
Do not worry about your father, he is a strong man and soon will get a new job. Calm seas never made a skilled sailor. You will look back and realize you've acquired a lot of knowledge over the past few years.
I must go, the bells will ring and I soon have to march.
All the best, your perverted friend,
Dick Trick, 69th Platoon
Dear dock did
I have a lot of information. Gathered on the seven seas among the dead and the living
and there will be no remorse for the woes of our people
come to glad stone on urinal street under the North Star coordinate 86 degrees celsius
if the wheat does not rise there will be no more sugar
Gladys is over heating
sincerely your mercantilist saint, Judith b. Antonio’s pizza
p.s bring your copy of 90s edition hentai, and your kidney stones
Dear Dr. Grenadine Hemorrhoids,
I have just come from a visit with another doctor. I implore you go keep your emotions at a distance and continue to read this letter.
You must certainly be quite upset that I have cheated on you with another doctor.
I had wandered the cobbled streets after the sun sinks beneath the tilted skyline with a rumpus oh so soar after our last meeting.
I felt it necessary to seek the company of another doctor who might be better equipped to end the discomfort in my rear end.
To my dismay, he was unable to diagnose the insatiable hunger for attention my bum has developed. After several attempts at finger penetration to locate any anomalies, I decided he could not satisfy me. He even tried the finger swirl but came up with nothing more than a foul odor.
Come this next Tuesday I will be coming back to you as my one true doctor, if you can find it within you to forgive me.
I need you more than ever.
Regards,
Tookus Shookus
