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becoming a Porn Star saved my life


Posts: 1662

I actually want to like start painting my nails again, taking care of myself, wearing makeup again, be pretty, all of my self-hate and deepest insecurities that were killing me seem to be fading into the past

last edit on 3/9/2020 8:00:41 PM
Posts: 33255
0 votes RE: becoming a Porn Star sa...

I actually want to like start painting my nails again, taking care of myself, wearing makeup again, be pretty, all of my self-hate and deepest insecurities that were killing me seem to be fading into the past

So you feel oppressively watched and judged again, like when you were thinner? 

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
last edit on 3/9/2020 8:38:41 PM
Posts: 1662
0 votes RE: becoming a Porn Star sa...

I actually want to like start painting my nails again, taking care of myself, wearing makeup again, be pretty, all of my self-hate and deepest insecurities that were killing me seem to be fading into the past

So you feel oppressively watched and judged again, like when you were thinner? 

 No quite the opposite, I feel encouraged not oppressed 

Posts: 1662
0 votes RE: becoming a Porn Star sa...

encouraged by so positive attention sent my way when I'm at my worst, it encourages me to not want to punish myself anymore

last edit on 3/9/2020 9:36:15 PM
Posts: 33255
-1 votes RE: becoming a Porn Star sa...

I actually want to like start painting my nails again, taking care of myself, wearing makeup again, be pretty, all of my self-hate and deepest insecurities that were killing me seem to be fading into the past

So you feel oppressively watched and judged again, like when you were thinner? 

 No quite the opposite, I feel encouraged not oppressed 

Isn't that the same thing in this case? 

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
Posts: 1662
0 votes RE: becoming a Porn Star sa...

I actually want to like start painting my nails again, taking care of myself, wearing makeup again, be pretty, all of my self-hate and deepest insecurities that were killing me seem to be fading into the past

So you feel oppressively watched and judged again, like when you were thinner? 

 No quite the opposite, I feel encouraged not oppressed 

Isn't that the same thing in this case? 

 No

Posts: 1662
0 votes RE: becoming a Porn Star sa...

encouraged by so positive attention sent my way when I'm at my worst, it encourages me to not want to punish myself anymore

 for TC's mentally challenged brain 

Posts: 854
0 votes RE: becoming a Porn Star sa...

Cant you delete your porn? Maybe it isnt to late

stony brook is a really good school
Posts: 33255
0 votes RE: becoming a Porn Star sa...

Honestly they look the same to me, coming from you anyway. 

Ę̵̚x̸͎̾i̴͚̽s̵̻͐t̷͐ͅe̷̯͠n̴̤̚t̵̻̅i̵͉̿a̴̮͊l̵͍̂ ̴̹̕D̵̤̀e̸͓͂t̵̢͂e̴͕̓c̸̗̄t̴̗̿ï̶̪v̷̲̍é̵͔
Posts: 6
0 votes RE: becoming a Porn Star sa...

I was a pornstar for awhile and it also saved me but financially. nice to know if I ever have issues I have an ATM between my legs :)

10 / 15 posts
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