Sociopath Community

Blanc said: 

the thing is, I can't *drink* it all the time but if I could feel the way I do on it all the time I would be so much better. 

 

maybe I need Zoloft or something. I don't fucking know. I just, wish something would boost my mood like this does. 

 

Buspar had a similar effect for boosting my mood as well but, I had horrible side effects from it (full body aches). (common side effect). 

 

but like, it combats depression so well... it's, the stimulant. most likely. caffeine. right? 

 

I wonder what effects addy has on depression people? Even though recently I was told I'm most likely cyclothymic or rapid cycling- I should look into how it affects both but like... 

 

yeah it just gets to a point where it stops working or becomes sickening, to drink more than 3 or 4 *venti* size cups from Starbucks a day. Or more than 4 shots of espresso in a day. After that point I just make myself sick. 

 

I dunno! I just, wish I could feel better all the time. meh :( it's so hard. 

 

because it always seems like oh "it's just a matter of life style /diet changes" but like, when you're actually experiencing it it's so much more than that. 

 

it's super hard... meh. life is great when im not in an episode usually but, if I'm in one it's so fucking hard.... almost scary and dangerous? 

 

and it's like there's nothing you can do like, there's no protection from it or preventing it or cure for it... no magic pill, you know. 

 

just coffee, weed, a long list of psych meds 

 

but without that I'm like sooooooooooooooooo mentally ill 

 

and not in a Tumblr romanticized cute way like "oh woopsies im depressed" it's like 

 

pure hell and really terrifying and really fucking difficult and I would literally cut off one of my fingers if it meant I could be rid of this forever, hell, I'd give up a whole hand. 

 You're not eating meat. That's why you're depressed. Caffeine is an appetite suppressor, so it makes you less hungry for meat, that's why it works as an antidepressant.

Blanc said:

why does coffee work like an anti-depressant for me?

It's a stimulant. 

It's also further contributing to your depression overtime, as well as reducing your immune system. 

Turncoat said: 

Blanc said:

why does coffee work like an anti-depressant for me?

It's a stimulant. 

It's also further contributing to your depression overtime, as well as reducing your immune system. 

 yeah my doc told me to stop(even decaf) (not psychiatrist, a doc doc. not gp either, functional med/endocrinology/dietition doc. 

she was also studying derm at the time. brilliant woman. 

but yeah uh... like, I know its not good for me but, its *one of* the only things that alleviates symptoms *immediately* like, a drug. but, without being, a drug. 

but anyways I wonder how it affects bipolar though because I could nee making myself worse 

but yeah the actual coffee bean is bad for you too, especially green ones. 

It is a drug. 

I did a paper on it for my Psychology of Addiction class after I saw what it did to some friends of mine when they tried to quit.