Sociopath Community

You respond to physical touch
For you, love is as simple as a caress. Where ever it happens, how ever long it lasts or how it is: it could be just holding hands while walking about, having a quick cuddle once the kids are in bed, stealing a kiss here and there, exchanging touches while passing each other in the hallway, and of course making love, particularly in the warming up phase – body to body, skin against skin… Physical touch is security and reassurance for you and makes you sure that your partner loves you. On the contrary, the absence of physical contact hurts you deeply and you can feel ill treated or rejected and you close down emotionally. But when your partner communicates in your love language, it touches you deeply inside, creating strong emotional intimacy that opens you to yourself and to your partner. Some advice: Every person has his or her own geography when it comes to bodily touch. Don’t think that touching them in a way that pleases you will necessarily please them and vica-versa. It’s important to verbally confirm the touches and caresses that you like, ‘You know I love it when you hold my hand… ‘I like it when you brush against me while passing by’ or ‘I adore when you take me in your arms’. You can invent a couple’s game to make your partner guess which styles of caress you like and which zones of your body are more receptive (Getting hotter, getting colder… ) If you are seriously lacking contact, begin by explaining to your partner how you operate in sensorial terms and perhaps invited them to find 5 different ways of physical contact during the day.

Some of those questions were brutal. Also who the fuck made the description one paragraph. I feel like a teenager did this.

You respond to quality words

Once your partner gives you their full attention, for you and only you, you feel fulfilled. You feel grateful when they listen to you all the way, without interrupting, trying to understand your thoughts and feelings, without necessarily giving you their point of view or ‘advice’. Another of your essential needs is the need to share time together. Whether for an activity: a short walk, a movie, a spot of shopping, a romantic dinner, a weekend away together, a meaningful discussion… even watching a TV programme that you will discuss afterwards. The main thing is that you share a quality moment together – and not with your partner’s attention elsewhere. During these moments, you feel loved and appreciated – ‘My partner is interested in me and is ready to spend time with me and for me to share something that I like doing’. Some advice: If your partner has understood your language of love, then you are happy. However, if this isn’t quite the case, then you can perhaps make a few suggestions that will help forge your couple even further (You can even show them these test results). While you are both talking, teach them the art of paying attention to you, doing nothing else during that time. Explain to them that you aren’t looking for answers, but more of a sympathetic ear and empathy, that can even been in silence. To be sure that they’ve understood you and that you’ve understood each other, ask them to paraphrase whatever it is you’ve told them and what they understood about your thoughts and feeling. Good listening comes from the desire of the listener to understand your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Finally, to make sure that you actually get time together, why not open your agendas and fix your common activities, at home or outside – at least once a fortnight?

user22212 said: 

Some advice: Every person has his or her own geography when it comes to bodily touch. Don’t think that touching them in a way that pleases you will necessarily please them and vica-versa.

 Oh shit

Tryptamine said: 

 Also who the fuck made the description one paragraph. I feel like a teenager did this.

 7 love languages is actually an entire book, but the description of each were condensed down to fit a magazine survey. You can findthe book if you want to read more about each language

Also the questionnaire is condensed but the questions still seem pretty similar. My mom's church gave the couples class a 84 question packet to take. 42 questions on what their love language is to receive loved and 42 questions on which languakthey use to show their partner love. Each question had only two answers so each language was weight against each other once. A lot of the questions were things like "what would you rather your partner do for you?" Asked multiple times with different answer options. This test just asks questions once with 1 option. 

Meh, love is for primates.

Tryptamine said: 

Meh, love is for primates.

Last I checked we hadn't gone full Neuromancer yet. 

PalePeach said: 

Each question had only two answers so each language was weight against each other once. 

Well, that's a shame.