It is 4am this lovely night, and I'm wide awake
My hearbeat is loud enough to make my chest break
I can hear its pulses - like steps coming up the stair
The thought of that has me pulling out my hair
Every car that passes has me hold my breath.
Is this it? Will this be the one bringing me death?
But they're not it. Not yet. How could I have been so dumb?
All was well -apart for an inconvenience- but that small hurt now seems so numb
-compared to my current torment. I thought life has no value
But boy was I wrong. That's some bullshit I'll never spew
Recklessly, I drank my mind away, and got more reckless still
Three times I challenged fate. Two so far, my blood didn't spill.
And here I lay in terror, waiting. Will Tyche smile upon me again?
I'm above my act, and deserve no punishment. Please don't bring me pain.
Foolish act from a foolish mind, sobered up and undid what I could
I hope fate considers this enough not to cover me up in mould.
WAIT! A syren. Is it come for me? Pass on Pass on Pass on Pass on
Pass on Pass on Pass on Pass on Pass on Pass on Pass on Pass on!
It's fading. It's not mine. Control my breath. Breath in,
Breath out. Repeat. Calm down. Good. WHY WHY WHY WHY did I sin?
I WANT OUT LET ME BE FREE. I'll die. This is my death
No sleep. No redemption. No chance. No mercy. He's finally come: Seth
It is so cruel not to know. Will all around me fall apart?
Will my life be forfeit? Will I suffer greatly? All from my poor heart?
What will they do? All those that care, when they see me down?
And no! They cannot help! All will be lost, and it will be long till dawn.
A sliver of hope has me unable to accept my fate. Two slivers.
Three slivers. Four slivers. ANOTHER SYREN I AM LOST
QUICKLY TO THE BLINDS I GO. Not here, down the road at most.
Breath in breath out. Calm. Get a hold of it. Are they really not here?
RUN check again? Safe. Breath in breath out. Soon I hope to tire.
Collapsing into restless light sleep. I can hope still. I am in limbo.
I repent? No. I see. I understand. Should I just jump off the window?
No. Life I like. This is stressful but fun. Next time I'll take more precautions.
Honestly, be reckless without making any calculations
The lesson to be learnt for this -will I survive- is simple
Always be smart, cautious and nimble.
It's here. My salvation. Lucky again, as I've always been.
So far so good, now what? My life's worth to me I've seen
Blinded by the darkness I let the abyss grab me downwards
It has now released its grip. Do I plunge back in, or move on forwards?
There's no magic pill or push from behind, or pull from the front
Trump the darkness with righteous discipline, no mater what the font
Or damn it all, curse it all?, and teach the world a lesson in evil?
The danger's gone, the problem remains, fight for my moral retrieval?
It's gone nowhere. The problem's not solved. The danger's passed
I simple need to let go of the disdain I've amassed
