Sociopath Community

fuck you twilight for giving me this dream 

Don't drag Twilight into this, that's a sacred name. 

there was a lot more else that i dreamed last night 

like, the dream started out as me doing something i think i was shopping with my girlfriend, i just can't remember that one very well, and then the dream zooms out and i'm in a theater watching the dream end on the screen, and i look over at my friend who's sitting with me. 

and then the dream skips and i'm in a mall or a school or something i can't remember, it was vague. but there was soeone who decided to shoot up the place, (this is the 2nd active shooter dream in two weeks lol, but i have tons of them). and yeah, in this dream I left the scene and ran outside, and went in this lake. and i was worried abotu alligators eating me likei t was a swamp not a lake it was super disgusting. 

and i swam all the way up to some trees and then held on, because the water was pushing and pulling me this way and that way 

but yeah that was my only escape for some reason so i was like fuck it. 

and then i was hanging out in this like new york type area inside one of the buildings up many flights of stairs. like a condo or an apartment up above all the shops and stuff down on the avenue. 

and the surviving crew from the shooting came and got me and said all the surviving people have to go to one place and it was a secret meeting place and they told me the address and i was like ugh no, what if the shooter comes there and finds out we're there and kills us or something that's stupid 

and they were like "if we're not all in one place then we don't have an alliby and people could blame the shooting on us" or something like that because it was suspicious we survived?? 

and so i show up to the place and it is like this long house in the middle of the fucking dessert with no walls, like an antique ass, shit. that is abandoned. and that's what they called it like, it was an abandoned mansion in the middle of no where dessert country. looked like new mexico or arizona. 

and aparently it was like, post apocalypse now, so like, we were in the surviving days of the zombie apocalypse after all the zombies were gone now??? which is crazy because i've been plagued with zombie apocalypse dreams for fucking years now, and never once have i had a dream where it was over, it ended, we were in a peace time. we survived it. etc. 

so that was interesting. but yeah the house was like, in shambles because, some people from the apocalypse that had died or moved on like, left the house a fucking wreck during those years. it had like bullet holes in it and like, bloody rags left on the table that were hardened. and a lot of the walls were missing. 

and i was like, "no, i'm not staying here if the shooter finds us he can just come in and kill us all." so i left on foot and went to find my car? 

and my car was like parked behind some college campus or something. and as i went tehre, someone who knew me on the campus- it was night now- she came up to me and started talking and i was like, "i really have to go like, i need to go now i have stuff to do." 

because i knew this shooter was on the loose and my friends were just sitting ducks so i was determined to find him and kill him is what i was going to do. 

but i also knew i could only be safe if i stayed on the move and layed low so i needed to be in a car idk. i just couldn't be safe without it in my mind. idk 

for some reason i literally started flying a bit while i was walking??? 

so like i finally got to my car, and then idk what the fuck happened 

the dream skips again, and i'm in this fucking old antique gothic mansion, and there's like a whole family chilling. it's very comfortable vibes everyones just normal. there's like an old grandma, a dad, two kids doing homework, and many more people in various rooms doing various normal house things, minding their business. 

and i'm an intruder basically, i don't know what i was there for but, i was like invisible. so they couldn't see me and i could fly around a bit like, gravity wasn't a thing for me lol 

and i was looking for something? i just don't know what. and i like looked under the beds and like, wandered around... 

it was a relaly cool like gothic-y royal looking mansion-y type of house but yeah 

i have no idea what that was about. 

 Why even go through real life when the dreams are better? 

oh i remember now, the shooting wasn't in a mall or a school. it was an ice skating rink. 

and yeah there was a brief segment where i was there as a mental hospital patient- there was like intake residential unit for psychiatric care inside the ice skating rink. 

and i was just there for a week or whatever because i was suicidal and depressed and messed up mentally idk. and i was talking to someone else there in the unit who was worried she would never get to leave. and i was like, oh don't worry they normally only keep you a week. i've been here plenty of times. 

and she looked at me kind of weird like, i was nuts. because i had been there tons of times. 

and then that's when the shooting happened, out in the ice skating rink portion of the place. 

so it was an ice skating rink and a mental psych unit in one. lol and uh, yeah i've dreamt about this ice skating place many times before, lots of different things have happened in this specific location in my dreams. this is a place where i grew up in very young childhood forward. because my sister was an ice skater, i was always there. i went there after school basically everyday. 

so i dream about this place a lot. and for some reason, after my psych hopsitalizations, the place in my dream remains a psych unit/ ice skating rink now. like, i've had mutliple dreams where it is, that. 

so for some reason they are linked in my brain now and permanently globbed together. 

Cinnamon 

So last night I fell asleep listening to the song cinnamon by Lana del Rey on accident 

and then my subconscious decided to incorporate it into my dreams. So at first I’m at a Lana del Rey concert and I’m way in the back. And she makes a shout out to the girl sitting behind me in the theater, for no known reason. And then I realize, it’s a girl I’ve seen on youtube singing this same song. (In real life i saw this youtube video, not in the dreams. This is a real girl lol) 

And then I realized that she must of written the original song. And so I started talking to her, I don’t remember about what but. She was super sweet and nice and cute. But I thought she was naive to like, not own such a good song and capitilize on it herself as an artist and talented singer song writer like- why did she give it away to Lana? You know. 

But then the dream skips and I’m on vacation at the beach and god it was beautiful. And I was trying to film the scenery, and there was a loud speaker on a pole that was playing the Lana Del Rey song, this time it sounded like it was kind of radio-y you know. And I was like, damn this song is playing everywhere it’s like blown up. 

And then I’m in the car ride home from the beach and my entire family is in the car, including like, my uncle and his family. And we’re in a minivan or something and like driving on the edge of a mountain. Which if you’re from California, you know the struggle. And what I mean when I say driving on the edge of the mountain. Lol. It looked like California for sure. And the song was playing on the radio, but this time it was a super minimal spaced out like almost Billie-Ellish sounding version of it. 

And my mom was like I love this song... and I was like damn this is playing everywhere man like, it’s taking over lol. I’m getting a little sick of it at this point but I’m just tolerating it. 

Lol.... And then I wake up and it’s playing next to my head and I’m like oh.... that’s why.... lol it was repeating literally all fucking night. 

XD