Turncoat said:
Your college path academically was practically mine.



...how long were you in college again? You should know significantly more than this, even as just a minor.

I was in for a semester.

Turncoat said:
Who's to say you got over it?

 Maybe I didn't.

Turncoat said:
What would the military have to do with AI, in your case? Your former path and your current aspirations have little to nothing in common.


Well, part of the reason why leaving college, although enjoyable, and I could see myself enjoying AI. I also had idea of being a soldier. Of course, they don't have anything in common. 

Turncoat said:


You still kinda are...

You also sound like a really bad planner.

  Not necessarily going to deny that.

Turncoat said:

You never sound sure of yourself, except when it comes to your transference daydreams.

 My goal is to pursue a path of becoming essentially a swiss-army knife. I believe I should be a well-rounded individual. I believe that having combat and military knowledge can be helpful, along with political science, sociology, psychology, mathematics, history, other sciences like environmental, physics, etc would be beneficial. I want to be self-sufficient, and should an apocalyptic event occur, be prepared to survive, and possibly take on the role of a leader, and forge my own society.

I don't believe that I will be successful, or that I am perfect. This is just my dream. I don't care for some career path working for job under a system I disagree with. 

I don't deny that I delve into fantasy as times, it's just me being over-zealous about my aspirations. I still wish to learn AI at some point. I still want to learn programming.

A valid criticism of myself is my impatience, and my impulsive choices. If everything fails for me, I've considered suicide as an option just because my goals in life would be crushed. 

You can call me weak-willed, whatever you wish. Perhaps, but I want to try to improve myself. The first step is self-discipline. 

If I can't even achieve self-discipline, if I can't even improve myself to become stronger, then I see no point in existing. 

Such existence would be shameful, and go against what I view as my values and code.


There is so much in this life I wish to read and study and do, and yet I find myself restricted, and impatient, and it aggravates me. It makes me feel unworthy. I know I can become better, and if I can't, then I will die. I refuse to be a plague to this world.


I view the universe as a sandbox, with obviously science as it's laws and rules, as well as a tool to explore and figure out more laws and rules. I don't believe in necessarily an objectively prescribed meaning to our existence, more so that we are the custodians of our destiny and meaning.


For me, that meaning is the unification of man, the betterment of man, and the exploration of said universe. That is my obsession, that is my goal. Obviously, I am somewhat delusional in this respect, and idealistic, that is my criticism of myself, but that doesn't mean, I view my goals as impossible, I just have some flaws that I have to fix. 


I do want to go into the military, my contradiction is the life I've become so accustomed to. The luxury I am living in. If I am to become stronger, and better, I must break that connection. I want to further my education while in the military. I want to use the military to expand my knowledge and become better.