Sociopath Community

So, taking a page from blanc, 

Just doing the self care thing is kinda working? I wake up, I do the things and I don't think and that's sorta helpful. 

I'm back to drawing. It's not good, it's not at a level that I want it to be. But it keeps me from drowning in my own head. 

I'm back to watching kids shows and no thinker Netflix movies and series and so that's a thing. I'm working towards being debt free. It's slow but I'm almost there. I'm an impulsive buyer so I'm trying to work that out. I cancelled three times on some therapist that I'm pretty sure has me slotted as the person that does the reach out but never actually wants to change because the fact that I'm reach out should count for something, right? 

I tell myself that I don't need to waste 120$ an hour talking to a stranger about things that don't necessarily matter. But oh boy, I can spend 200$ easy on plants and other things that don't necessarily matter either.

Sleep is sometimes a thing. 

I sleep at 12am, I wake up 2am. Doze off and then it's 3:18am. Turn the pillow around because obviously the cooler side will help me sleep. Blink. It's 5am. Oh but now I think I can sleep just 15 mins. Oops. It's 9am. I'm late for work. 

I'm trying to get better at the sleep bit. 

That's pretty good. Keep up the good work.

Lena said: 

So, taking a page from blanc, 

Just doing the self care thing is kinda working? I wake up, I do the things and I don't think and that's sorta helpful. 

I'm back to drawing. It's not good, it's not at a level that I want it to be. But it keeps me from drowning in my own head. 

 

I'm back to watching kids shows and no thinker Netflix movies and series and so that's a thing. I'm working towards being debt free. It's slow but I'm almost there. I'm an impulsive buyer so I'm trying to work that out. I cancelled three times on some therapist that I'm pretty sure has me slotted as the person that does the reach out but never actually wants to change because the fact that I'm reach out should count for something, right? 

I tell myself that I don't need to waste 120$ an hour talking to a stranger about things that don't necessarily matter. But oh boy, I can spend 200$ easy on plants and other things that don't necessarily matter either.

Sleep is sometimes a thing. 

I sleep at 12am, I wake up 2am. Doze off and then it's 3:18am. Turn the pillow around because obviously the cooler side will help me sleep. Blink. It's 5am. Oh but now I think I can sleep just 15 mins. Oops. It's 9am. I'm late for work. 

I'm trying to get better at the sleep bit. 

 i try not to think about things that are gonna be helpful but i know i can psych myself out of them. if i'm nervous to do something and i think i'm gonna back out, i just go through the motions completely detached, so that i can't talk myself out of it.

also omg i love you

I have been doing positive affirmations, inner child exercises and visualization (fantasizing about your goals, which is what fuels narcs) for a while. I have been feeling much better.