I go periods of years of isolation then years of needy BPD NPD super extroverted times where I travel and get a few STDs then go back to hiding focusing on my autistic hobbies usually due to feeling like the world hates me
My thinking is very symbolic (Introverted Intuition for you mbti fags). Recently I had a daydream of a little boy walking alone back home, realized it symbolizes how I see myself returning to Romania alone without my gf
I have alot of thoughts like "if I thing negatively of this it will go bad" "If I think bad things about someone they will hate me" "If I give money to poor I will make more in scams" and I think I can feel others peoples feelings. I am very prone to superstition and magical thinking. I think I can influence the world with my thoughts on a deeper level even tho I know its irrational logically
I am very sensitive to rejection and if I feel someones growing bored of me or about to bail I will start distancing myself from them
I will either shut down or get violent when you yell at me, I can't deal well with it
I have a peculiar sexual taste heheh
I learned reading and writing at 5
I speak 5 languages fluently because I am obsessed with linguistics
Its difficult for me to put thoughts into words since the thoughts don't bind to words / they are symbols (autism? idk)
I don't miss people because once I know someone they become a part of my mental world and they are always there (schizoid/maladaptive daydreaming can't tell which)
